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Authentic Leadership

9/30/2015

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by Linda Goodman

My Life:  Everyone has a life that is different from the ‘I’ of daily consciousness, a life that is trying to live through the ‘I’ who is its vessel. This is what the poet knows and what every wisdom tradition teaches: there is a great gulf between the way my ego wants to identify me, with its protective masks and self-serving fictions, and my true self.  It takes time and hard experience to sense the difference between the two—to sense that running beneath the surface of the experience I call my life, there is a deeper and truer life waiting to be acknowledged. ‒ Parker Palmer

Perhaps we’ve worked through countless fears, worries, insecurities, and guilt to find a resonating core that is authentically us.  Deeply ingrained principles are a part of every decision we make.  We may be so courageous in making critical decisions that we have come to recognize courage as our true nature.   We may have found intimacy that is real and authentic in sharing vulnerabilities.  Let’s not forget that our core values may be refined over time due to learning experiences and maturity.

Enjoying employment consistent with the core belief systems and the need for a specific service in society is an ideal.  How we handle the growing pains of learning a new corporate culture as well as a new leadership role takes all our tools and less rigidity without forfeiting the clear sense of self.  Being honest and courageous will accompany a leader forward in learning a new style of management without conflicting with one’s true nature, but there is always a need for discernment.  Even the most authentic person on the planet cannot resist change in this fast-paced, multi-cultural, social media world with a workforce of varying emotional intelligence and backgrounds.

Continue to study leadership behaviors, learn to be agile, and utilize mentors who have had experience to share for specific situations.  Learning when to stay silent in order to achieve the best outcome may be foreign but necessary.

Maintain a support group of peers and other business and social friends away from the workplace, even if there’s a time crunch.  They will assist in reviewing negative feedback and offer suggestions.  

Allow your story to be on the resume, a background upon which to build.  Break out of the comfort mold. Being authentic doesn’t mean transparent.  As a leader you can’t tell others of your concerns and insecurities without causing the workforce to lose confidence.  A leader may utilize new authoritative techniques to change the working climate and implement these appropriately through delegation and communication without changing core values.  Lead with empathy and warmth, while keeping the right balance of maintaining one’s true nature and quiet wisdom

And always be aware of preserving self.  Dr. Phil describes being inauthentic as trying to hold a beach ball underwater.  If that becomes the sensation, or if there’s a feeling of burnout or a misalignment with one’s core values, be true to self and make a change that fits with the authentic self and not the ego.

Seeking Authenticity:
• Am I loving myself as much as others?
• Do I belong and have a connection?
• Do I recognize that no one is insignificant?
• Have changes occurred by chance, due to a crisis or by my conscious decisions?
• Do I have the will to keep my life in the trajectory of my choice?
• What are my core values (the rigid ones and the ones that could use some flexibility)?
• Has part of my persona been molded according to the need to please?
• When I look at people I admire, what are the qualities that are important to me?
• Can I drop blaming and using excuses and remember (and pursue) my dreams?


Linda Goodman, a Mediator, Reiki Master, and Consultant/Coach, is a guest blogger and coauthor of F.A.I.T.H. – Finding Answers in the Heart, Volume II. To order your copy of this inspirational book, click here.
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When Relationships Hurt

8/12/2015

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by Suzanne Baker Hogan

Relationships can be extremely challenging. Why? Because they are prime opportunities for growth. Relationships trigger our ancient wounds so that we can finally heal them. They ask us to stop coping with our pain in limiting ways. They push us to grow so much that we finally love ourselves. 

Of course, when we are hurt in a relationship, it can seem impossible to understand why. We can feel so unjustly treated by someone we let deeply into our lives. Emotions fly, issues surface, and we are thrust into the deep end overnight. The task is to feel what we feel instead of burying it. It is to look within ourselves instead of focusing on being wronged, because we are actually being pushed to grow rapidly. And all the souls involved are guiding the process.

Can you recognize a relationship in your own life that hurt you badly? Looking back, can you see the lesson you learned and how invaluable it was? Sure, it can feel unjust to search within when you’ve been so blatantly hurt, but the purpose is always clear down the road. You were being asked to be true to yourself.

Think about a relationship that ended when you didn’t want it to. This may have felt brutal at the time, but this ending freed you for greater things. You may have fought the process, but it allowed you to have new relationships. Years later, can you see that you were being opened up for more? You would have remained stagnant otherwise.

The other day, I was wounded by someone dear to me. This friend and former employee trespassed on my generosity in a very personal way at a very vulnerable time. She showed a blatant disregard for my needs, repeatedly. It happened in my own home and took me completely by surprise. 

But as this wounding was happening, I maintained awareness of the lesson at hand. I could see that my friend’s soul was in on the lesson too, and I was able to put blame aside. I was being challenged to stop accommodating people at my own expense. I was being pushed to say “Enough!” and to set boundaries in the sacred space where I live. All so that I could become stronger and empowered. From then on, I would be firm and clear about taking care of myself.

Sometimes it takes a shocking situation to finally grow. This pushes us more than our humanness might allow. Relationships aid the process immensely. Even those that might seem negative. Because the people who seem unloving in your life actually emphatically love you—at the soul level. In fact, that is how much we love each other. We are willing to play the roles required to help one another grow. We are teaching each other to say “Enough!” so that we finally love and honor ourselves.  


Suzanne Baker Hogan, spiritual writer and author of SharetheSpiritual.com and Twin Flame Help, is a guest blogger and coauthor of F.A.I.T.H. – Finding Answers in the Heart, Volume II. To order your copy of this inspirational book, click here. 
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I'm Not Who YOU Think I Am

7/29/2015

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by Maureen Roe

Words, art, music, voice, dance, hair styles, and fashion are just some of the many ways we express ourselves.  But are you fully expressed?  

Oh, to be a child again and not experience the pressures of society or the concern for what people think of us—things we’ve learned that cause us to judge ourselves and others.

As a fully expressed adult you would reemerge as someone who doesn’t worry about what others think because you fully accept all of yourself and live in peace. You express your true feelings to others in a kind way so that nothing goes unsaid in the relationship and you show your true and authentic self to those you encounter.

One of the hardest parts to this formula, which we see played out in many ways in society, is letting others define your life, like parents who assert undue influence for their children to go into a certain field, or just the pressure from society as to what is acceptable for a job or career. For example, say you are an extremely intuitive individual, but you were always made to feel uncomfortable or ashamed of your abilities, so you become a CPA. You may be good with numbers and you may be fairly successful, but you don’t feel fulfilled because society has defined your true nature as something not acceptable.

Going against the grain is appealing to some with a rebellious attitude, but for those who suffer in silence it can be agony. Usually these suppressed needs surface in the form of addictions such as drugs, alcohol, food, shopping, sex, and more. None of these result in satisfaction no matter how it plays out.  

At a certain age we may just become tired of worrying what others think of us and we may start pursuing our passions but some never do because they don’t know how to get past what other people think. Fortunately, there are many people to help you overcome these issues and it is easier than you think.

Here are some things you can do now to be more fully self-expressed:
• Become an observer of your own life. Know who you are so you can expand your focus of who you know yourself to be. Pursue passions or try new things that appeal to you for some unknown reason.
• Speak your truth in the moment. You may have fear of speaking up in the moment, but notice what feeling you have when you don’t and practice communication 101. State how you feel when the other person says or does whatever made you uncomfortable.
• Be willing to live your truth by recognizing what or who isn’t working in your life and be willing to make adjustments so that you can be more at peace in your life.


Maureen Roe is a Self-Expression Coach, Registered Corporate Coach, Metaphysical Minister, Ageless Grace Educator, speaker, and co-author of F.A.I.T.H. – Finding Answers in the Heart, Volume II. To order your copy of this inspirational book, click here.
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To Be Me

7/8/2015

3 Comments

 
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by Corinna Murray

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. —Ralph Waldo Emerson



Authentic self-expression of ourselves is an integral part of living a balanced and meaningful life because that is how we contribute our unique qualities and gifts to the world. At times we may be reluctant to express ourselves openly because we feel vulnerable, exposed, or even misunderstood. Yet when we hold back and play safe and small, we sabotage our potential and restrict our ability to contribute and connect. When we align with our authentic flow of self, expressing our truth, we access a way of being that goes beyond the superficial display of our personality. We connect to a way of being that communicates our essential truth through our essence in voice, behavior, and even through our quiet presence.

Self-awareness is essential to authentic self-expression, just as it is to spiritual growth. When we gain awareness about the way we approach life and look at the world, we can only then notice that we choose our experiences. If our perspective is one of fear, frustration, or anger, then our self-expression will also be filtered through those same negative emotions, recreating old emotional patterns and behaviors. If our perspective is one of love, acceptance, and gratitude, we open to our natural state of positive self-expression and we begin to transform our reality. When we communicate from our core selves with our pure voice, it becomes simple, gentle, accepting, and appreciative. In this flow of emotional awareness and expression, we are able to share our true selves with the world through our intentions, thoughts, speech, and actions. When we are truly conscious of our purest self, life flows naturally, sweetly, and effortlessly. We don’t need to struggle to feel understood. It is simply enough to be present and aware.

When you make a commitment to be who you really are and make choices that allow you to express yourself like no one else can, you connect to that place within where your inner truth resides. You open to allow your truth and creativity to radiate your unique essence and contribution to life. By creating clear intentions that come from your inner truth, with awareness and choice, you dissolve your potential for self-sabotage. This is the prelude to sweet success. Trust the intelligence of nature to manage the details. 

Today, set an intention for clear communication from your heart. Allow it to manifest in the ordinary experience of the day as it unfolds. No one else can be who you are. No one else can fulfill your role in life. The simple truth that you were created requires you to come forward to be and express your true self. When you do, you encourage everyone else to shine from their true selves as well. Today, simply remember that you are an essential life force, here to shine your light into the world in your own irreplaceable way.


Corinna Murray, DVM, CPC is a veterinarian, iPEC Certified Professional Coach, and founder of EnHABiT and Veterinary Care Navigation. She is a guest blogger and coauthor of F.A.I.T.H. – Finding Answers in the Heart, Volume II. To order your copy of this inspirational book, click here.

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Self-Expression

6/29/2015

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by Nanette Littlestone

Welcome to summer! July has always been one of my favorite months because of summer, the 4th of July festivities, and my birthday. I love celebrating with family and friends, eating outside, enjoying the warm nights. A wonderful scene made only more perfect if I lived by the ocean.

This month F.A.I.T.H. explores self-expression. Who are you being? Not “who are you” but “who do you say you are?” There’s a difference. 

When I was a kid I was very shy. Extremely shy. I didn’t know how to start a conversation or keep a conversation going. If you spoke to me I would answer but I didn’t know how to question or show interest in someone. And my third grade teacher told my mother to tell me that something I said hurt another kid’s feelings. So I clammed up even more.

That was the outside me. The inside me was an explorer and round-the-world traveler who yearned for adventure in distant lands. I was confident and bold, spoke numerous languages, and could hold my own with anyone. Needless to say, no one saw the inside me. 

Life is full of challenges and obstacles. All of us have faced rejection in jobs, relationships, sports, and other areas. Those rejections can depress you or make you stronger. You choose how you react. I could have stayed small and withdrawn, but my soul cried out for the real me to stand up. And after more than 50 years of hiding my opinion, I began to claim my power and my ability to speak out.

So who are you expressing? The limited you or the powerful you? Corinna Murray starts our exploration next week.


Nanette Littlestone, author, editor, writing coach, and publisher, is a frequent blogger and visionary leader behind F.A.I.T.H. - Finding Answers in the Heart, Volumes I and II. To find out more about these books, click here.
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Confessions of a Nonlinear Thinker

6/9/2015

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by Maureen Roe

If only I could go back and count the times in my life that I touted myself as being logical. For the most part, I am. Logic makes sense to me and I can get behind it and follow it without a problem. So when I reached a certain age, I wondered why I seemed to walk to the beat of a different drum. In most things in life, my thinking patterns are very rational, but in certain arenas I frustrate people or make them uneasy because that logic I am famous for seems to run and hide.

In my late 30's I learned I have a balanced brain. After some testing it was determined that I use both sides of my brain equally, meaning I don't only use logic (right brain) to make a decision; I also use my creative left brain. While the linear logical thinkers saw the steps laid out, I could also see another nonlinear creative way to address the issue. This explained why I would frustrate people with my occasional indecision, especially when it was a big issue.   

Society tends to produce a lot of linear thinkers. When your life is not logical and you don't progress to the next step when expected, you will experience some unpleasantness from those linear thinkers because suddenly they won't understand you.  Ask any single lady who isn't married by the time she's 30, anyone who is married at least a year and hasn't yet produced a grandchild, someone who decides to take off a year before going to college, or someone who just can't seem to decide what they want to be when they grow up and bounce around from one career to another trying this and that.  Believe me, you will get some very interesting tirades.

For those of you out there who follow your heart, your vision, your dream, and meet this pushback from society, I applaud you. Daring to be different and following those dreams, no matter how long it takes, requires guts and lots of faith.  So often you get disheartened because your dream doesn’t come when you expect. Then judgment from family and friends starts the descent into shame, embarrassment, depression, and endless questions, all while you feel your soul urging you to continue to seek and find. Or you simply give up on your dream.

It has taken close to 40 years to see my dream coming to fruition. If you think I haven't felt embarrassed because I couldn't spell out what it was my soul was asking me to do, you'd be mistaken. But that small nonlinear portion of me allowed me to roam and explore numerous ways to accomplish what I wanted. I like to think that Thomas Edison and I have something in common. I'm not a failure. I’ve just found many ways in which to utilize my skills.

If you are struggling with a similar search for your dream, don't give up. Don't let others convince you that it has to be done in logical steps that might not be your way. Be true to your soul's calling and your authentic self. That way you can stay true to your dreams.


Maureen Roe is a Self-Expression Coach, Registered Corporate Coach, Metaphysical Minister, Ageless Grace Educator, speaker, and co-author of F.A.I.T.H. – Finding Answers in the Heart, Volume II. To order your copy of this inspirational book, click here.
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Bringing Wellness into Balance

5/27/2015

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by Linda Goodman

When “I” is replaced by “We,” even Illness turns into Wellness. You are not alone in your quest for WELLNESS and Complete Health of Body, Mind, and Spirit, but Knowing Thyself is an important component.

Paul Chek, a health coach, trainer and rehabilitator, identifies six elements of Health:
• Thinking
• Nutrition
• Movement
• Sleeping
• Hydration
• Breathing

You may take a different view of the true definition of good health, but the mind-body connection has been proven; thus, our thoughts should be the first quality we consider. IF there are self-defeating thought patterns or non-interaction, perhaps the focus on self has become such a primary source of information that we don’t recognize we might be out of balance. Interactions can help distract one from discomforts, and laughter is known for its healing power. Daniel Amen of PBS fame suggests “Brain Health” (which involves ALL of the above) is the way to add more vitality and alertness to the years we have.

In a simpler society, going to a healer for being disheartened or decline in the body would have led to these questions:
• When did you stop dancing?
• When did you stop singing?
• When did stories stop inspiring you?
• When did you forget to seek silence?

Asking these questions of ourselves might bring us deeper into knowing our bodies and recognizing unhealthy patterns. Negative self-talk isn’t the way to a healthier self; ACTING upon a newer and healthier habit is.

Studies confirm that chronic stress weakens the immune system. So if you notice you’re keeping a stomachache, or a tight neck, or yelling more and reacting rather than calmly stepping back and responding, consider relaxation techniques that are right for you—walking, yoga, meditating, a massage, sitting quietly in nature. Relaxation is good for the wellness of your Entire Being.

To bring your wellness into balance:

1) Begin a journal and write down, daily: Feelings, Thoughts, Three things that bring gratitude, and note what beliefs or actions might help in getting healthier.

2) Conscious decision-making is a good investment in our health and all other parts of our lives. Walk mindfully, barefoot in the grass, slowly and deliberately. Develop a mantra to guide you on your road to complete health. Or breathe in four stages: Breathe in – Renew and Reaffirm, then Breathe out – Release and Review.  BREATHE mindfully and be aware of NOT holding your breath while anxious.

3) If there’s trauma or a serious medical condition (whether physical or mental) go to a qualified professional, immediately. Reviews, resource materials, and websites will allow you to find someone whose personality and bedside manner is a good fit. Chronic illnesses and pain management need the patient’s Active Participation. Everyone deserves the best care and attention by someone who listens and can provide a healing modality that is right for each situation. Don’t give up until you find what helps you remember how to regain Joy and Dance.


Linda Goodman, a Mediator, Reiki Master, and Consultant/Coach, is a guest blogger and coauthor of F.A.I.T.H. – Finding Answers in the Heart, Volume II. To order your copy of this inspirational book, click here. 
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Well-Being Is Everything

5/20/2015

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by Maureen Roe

The most essential health one should be concerned with is well-being. While your physical well-being is critical, mental well-being seems to govern the entire system. Our mental health is important and there is a direct correlation between our negative thoughts and how we feel in our bodies. If you disagree, think of a day when things don't go well and your thoughts tend to be less than positive. From that point you cannot turn the situation around and by evening you feel tired, run down, maybe even achy and in pain.  

Working on my self-development solidly now for two decades, I have spent little time suffering emotionally or physically.  Because of some structural issues my body is not without its daily pains, but my focus is on me "feeling good." My "feeling good" in my mind directly correlates to the kind of day I am going to have.  
If you have a stressful lifestyle, this is for you. While many jobs today are very high pressure, many people who have been laid off will tell you that the thought of going back into that kind of setting is not an option. This has driven many to focus on entrepreneurial opportunities to try to find more balance. For example, I am willing to make less money and not have the latest iPhone, iPad, or watch in order to have a 2-hour lunch where I can meditate and gain greater perspective for my life and family, my clients and my work. Your quality of life is not written by some advertising guru. It is what you decide is important to you.

If your life balance is on a teeter totter, then re-evaluate your values and decide what you really want your life to be and not what your friends, the movie stars or the TV, tell you is the good life.

To get started:

1) Make and prioritize a list of the things you value in life, what is important to you (family, relationships, peace, religion, education, money, travel, etc.).

2) Consider each item above in terms of how far away you are from the desired state and determine what you'll need to happen to feel the way you wish to feel. Do you need to add, delete, or change something to be happier?

3) Once you consider ways that you can change your situation to move closer to your desired state, then sit back and think about how it will feel when these changes are made. Use your prioritizing to determine which of these items you will change first.

If you have trouble with this exercise and would like to get some help, please feel free to contact me at maureen@maureenroecoaching.com to set up a complimentary appointment time to help guide you through this exercise.


Maureen Roe is a Self-Expression Coach, Registered Corporate Coach, Metaphysical Minister, Ageless Grace Educator, speaker, and co-author of F.A.I.T.H. – Finding Answers in the Heart, Volume II. To order your copy of this inspirational book, click here.

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Can I Ever Find a New Normal?

5/15/2015

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by Barbara J Hopkinson

How can I heal after loss? Will I ever find a new normal without that special person in my life? Can I be well again?

Healing and wellness is often a choice. That may sound callous, and we need time to “lick our wounds” and find methods that work uniquely for us in our grief. But over time, we can choose to remain in our pain or we can choose to actively work on healing. No one said it was easy, fast, or fun, but it is possible. And once you make up your mind to heal, you start feeling progressively better and on your way to YOUR new normal.

What are some things you can do to start to heal after a big loss?  
• Focus on the positive memories of that person, rather than the pain caused by the loss. Display happy photos, tell funny stories of them.
• Exercise — take walks in nature or set a goal to work towards, like a race. Exercise produces chemicals in your brain that help you feel better.
• Nutrition — eat well. Get more green vegetables (natural stress relief), eat less sugar, drink more water (half your weight daily in ounces) and less alcohol (which is a depressant). 
• Practice deep breathing or meditation to calm your nervous system and relieve stress. This can also help you sleep better.
• Journal — write out your feelings: the good, the bad and the ugly. No one ever has to see what you wrote. Burn it if you like, but it’s very cathartic, and you may be surprised at what comes out.
• Get support — find a support group, a therapist, or talk with friends and family. We all need to talk it out. You may want to advise them before you start that they don’t need to “fix” you, just listen. Avoid negativity.

Most importantly, expect to heal and be patient. Take good care of yourself—even be a little selfish while you heal. You will be of much more benefit to others if you are taking care of you.

Life is tough on us sometimes, but we are all in it together. Reach out, be open to trying new things—like energy healing modalities. Find what you are most comfortable with to help you heal in your unique grief. No one else knows how you truly feel or what’s best for you . . . except you.

I found my new normal after a long journey following the trauma of losing multiple children and a long-term marriage. It can be done. Trust that and START. I’m happy to support you finding your NEW NORMAL. Be well.


Barbara J Hopkinson, Grief Mentor, Author, and Speaker with A Butterfly’s Journey, is a guest blogger and coauthor of F.A.I.T.H. – Finding Answers in the Heart, Volume II. To order your copy of this inspirational book, click here.

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What I Love about Art

5/13/2015

6 Comments

 
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by Azizi Blissett 

I love the artistic side of me.  It allows me to let go, play, and have fun. It is a spiritual and freeing experience. It feels great to just be and let my creative juices flow. And when I am done, I find that there is always a message that Spirit gives back to me. A reminder and inspiration to experience all that my heart desires. Through art, I have learned that my healing begins with my imagination. It is the bridge that opens the doorway to all possibilities. Art heals my soul and gives new meaning to my life. 


Azizi Blissett, Law of Attraction Life Coach and Founder and Executive Director of zFusion, is a guest blogger and coauthor of F.A.I.T.H. – Finding Answers in the Heart, Volume II. To order your copy of this inspirational book, click here.

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