by Nanette Littlestone

All my life I’ve been a perfectionist. Things had to be just so. Folds with razor-sharp creases. Stacks of paper in perfect alignment. Food arranged with symmetry and precision. This affliction worsened as I aged. The more settled I was in my behaviors and attitudes and general life patterns, the more controlling I became. In writing I had to use the correct words and the correct grammar and the correct style. Heaven forbid I had a typo in my manuscript. If I didn’t, then the writing wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t good enough. And I’d never get my novel published or be a bestselling author.

Little did I know that my perfectionism was holding me back from expressing myself.

In a recent energy healing session, I got to look at the pain in my lower back and what it was trying to tell me. I’ve dealt with back problems for over 30 years, from minor twinges that are just annoying to severe pain that demands bed rest for several days. Massage, chiropractic adjustments, and my beloved heating pad help me out. But I’d never resolved the cause of the incidents. I’d always thought it was about bending incorrectly or twisting the wrong way or not using my knees when I lift. 

This time I received a different message. My pain was about the “should’s” and “shouldn’ts” in my life. “I should have known better.” Or “I shouldn’t have gone there.” Or “I shouldn’t have done that.”

Hindsight is great but it doesn’t help the present moment. You’ve probably repeated numerous patterns in your lifetime and had the same results. And if you’re anything like me, you wonder when the lesson is going to stop. But if something isn’t working, then you probably need a different approach. You can’t keep doing the same thing and expect different results. The problem is that “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts” drag you down. They make you feel guilty. They’re destructive and feed on shame and demoralize your spirit. They make you wrong. And wrong is not uplifting.

I want to be happy. Smiling. Joyful. Don’t you?

Those old patterns are about living in the past. My 30 years of back pain were about being stuck in old experiences. Not loving myself. Not letting go. Being unwilling to forgive. The pain began in my 20s after a late party when I fell asleep while driving home at 2 a.m.  My car jumped the curb, traveled down the sidewalk, and plowed into the corner of a bar. Ironic for someone who doesn’t drink. I wasn’t seriously injured. No punctured organs or horrible loss of blood. But I did break my nose and I hurt my spine. And I told myself I shouldn’t have gone to that party. I shouldn’t have stayed out so late. I should have known better than to drive when I was tired.  

My body got tired of carrying all those “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts” with me. Slowly but surely the back problems got worse and more frequent. And each time my back went out, I thought this again?

The healing session allowed me to see what I’ve been holding on to all these years. Now I know that it’s okay to forgive that part of me and let it go. To know that I’m not perfect. To embrace the beauty of my imperfection, in my body and in my judgments of the world. 

Forgive yourself and move on. Embrace your imperfections. Start seeing the beauty in where you are right now.

by Nanette Littlestone

I was telling my mother about two recent incidents that were both surprising and remarkable. A woman that I only know through Facebook contacted me about my origami butterflies. She’d seen the butterflies at a party I attended where I gave them as a gift, and she loved them and wanted to know if I had more for sale. I was thrilled. I’ve been making the butterflies for over a year, just for my own pleasure, but I’d secretly longed to sell them. And here was my opportunity. Another woman whom I’ve met sent me a Facebook message to tell me she was referring one of her clients to me for writing help.

Both messages came out of the foggy blue. And both of them lit me up inside like a sparkler. I was so excited. And when I related them to my mother, I prefaced both of them with, “I don’t know if anything will come of it, but . . .” [The phrase changes from time to time. Sometimes it’s “I’m not sure if I can do this.” Or “This probably won’t happen.”]

I could hear myself saying that “I don’t know” and wondering why I do that, even as the words came out of my mouth. Why do I need to restrict my opportunities that way? Why do I place limits on what the Universe is offering?

How many times do you come up against those roadblocks?

Several days after my conversation with my mom I was driving to a meeting and running a little late. I prayed to my angels, “Please get me there in time. Please give me smooth traffic and quick and easy driving.” Several minutes later I pulled up behind a line of stalled cars and sighed. So much for that smooth traffic. “Angels,” I started to say, “I don’t know if . . .” and realization smacked me in the head. I stopped myself right in the middle of that sentence and laughed at my foolishness. Here I was asking for help and, at the same time, telling them they couldn’t do it? That’s crazy.

Realization is the first step to creating a change in your behavior. As you realize what you’re doing, you can stop and do something different.

I’m not doing the “I don’t know, I’m not sure, nothing will happen” anymore. Instead, I place my request and end with, “Thank you, God, for the blessings I have received and the blessings I am receiving.”

So how about those roadblocks? Are you willing to turn them into magical opportunities?

by Nanette Littlestone

Do you like to know how things are going to work or how they’re going to happen?

The practical side of me wants to know the exact steps from A to Z and everything in between. I think I get this from my father who was in charge of logistics in the Army. Forget spontaneity. You can’t go anywhere or do anything without a good plan.

Often this need to know stands me in good stead. Marketing, writing, and business development all require structure and know-how. Without them you’re apt to flounder and spend too much time, money, and effort.

Sometimes, though, this need to know gets in the way, especially when it concerns spiritual practice. The Law of Attraction tells us to imagine what we want, visualize it in great detail, feel ourselves having it, and then let go. Completely. Trust that it will manifest at the right time.

That letting go and trust part . . . yeesh! Not so easy. And it can be incredibly difficult for control freaks like me. But in order for the Universe to get the attraction generator cranking, you have to let go. You have to trust. You have to be open to whatever and be ready to take action.

Recently one of my F.A.I.T.H. authors posted on Facebook, looking for places for speaking engagements, and a woman responded with a mention about the Conscious Living Center. The name intrigued me so I looked up the woman and the Center, and the more I read the more I kept thinking this could be perfect for F.A.I.T.H. I messaged Hope, the founder, and told her briefly about the book and that I’d love to talk with her. She emailed the following day with “Call me. I’d love to talk.”

That’s when I got nervous. Sending email is pretty easy for me. Talking on the phone takes another whole level of courage. Besides, what would I say?

I let it sit for a day and the following morning I picked up the phone. I asked my angels for courage and dialed and started the conversation with, “I’m feeling a little lost here, but I really wanted to get in touch with you.” We both laughed and the discussion began. Hope’s warmth and friendliness put me at ease. She talked about her Center, her property, the different kinds of events that are held there, and eventually asked the question I was dreading. “So what do you think you’d like to do here?” I told her I had little experience with workshops and classes but that I was open to finding something that would fit. Her intuition suggested she mention the idea of a panel and I got excited. A panel! I’d been wanting to be on a panel for years and I’d thought of a writing or editing panel. But a panel for the F.A.I.T.H. authors. What a great idea!

When I got off the phone I had no idea what topic we would use to draw a crowd. I told my husband about the conversation and he said why don’t you talk about how you all followed your hearts—“finding answers in the heart.” Well, of course.

I beamed and clapped my hands like a little kid, full of joy and promise. And all because I let go and trusted and was open. When you do that, miracles happen.

P.S. – The F.A.I.T.H. panel is scheduled for August 23. Stay tuned for more info. 

Photo by iMAGINE, photoXpress.com