by Linda Goodman
 
Making conscious decisions and holding ourselves accountable is what makes us responsible adults, yet this need for always being in control (the ego) doesn’t allow for what may happen in our lives when bad things happen to good people.   Of course there are techniques for problem solving, but when the issues are far more complex, our overthinking may keep the noise of the mind so busy that there’s no time to receive quiet clarity.  Trusting the gut or intuition may be a new tool necessary to overcome the ego’s control and, in essence, redefine who we are.
 
On the opposite end of the spectrum, I’ve known people who seem to have always lived in a state of Trust.  It was second nature with no external work required.  Some have lived in a strong faith, but others haven’t; some were of service to humanity, others weren’t.  Perhaps they masked more than could have been noticed, but I’ve often wondered how could they trust so easily when others have been battered and bruised and are now coming to terms with relearning it?  To know self is more important than to analyze another.
 
Just as computer language is written in a basic step-by-step description, there are wisdom traditions that offer a way for each of us within our specific belief system. There is work involved in growing ourselves with the building blocks of each faith.  Here I will refer to God, or The Higher Self, etc. as LOVE, for that is what I believe is our commonality.  I think we all wish to belong and our choice of a companion on this path of trust and surrender is pure, unconditional LOVE.
 
There is sacrifice involved in complete surrender and taking the ego out of the equations.  It’s an ongoing awareness and expansion of our unique (and possibly unknown) capabilities away from our former education.  In Kabbalah, I’ve been taught three Hebrew words (Chokhmah, Binah, Daat) which translate to Wisdom, Understanding, and Knowledge.  Wisdom is the ability to receive and transmit the spark of new insight as we are able to perceive it.  Understanding is our nourishing and allowing a thought to develop and relate to other thoughts.  But the active function of internalization—connecting the mind and emotions deeply within—is Knowledge:  Daat is the soul’s connection to a subject.  In my opinion, it’s what causes me to grab my chest and say, “This resonates within my soul.”
 
As one embarks on doing any transformational work, having a community of safe people for feeling through the emotions is essential. Find like-minded professionals, a study, and/or a meditation group.  Surrendering to LOVE begins with fully knowing and trusting ourselves and surrendering to loving ourselves.  Accessing the essential core of who we are enables us to find joy in life and peace even in the most difficult times.
 
Below are some powerful messages and books of surrender and hope in moving through the darkness or uncertainty that may be a part of the journey.     

• A Course in Miracles’ Manual for Teachers has a significant outline for working on the awareness of the presence of LOVE, along with the process of forgiveness and allowing trust to return.
• 12 Step program’s The Serenity Prayer: God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference.
• Psalms 71, 1-3, Prayer of Surrender by King David: “In Thee, O Lord, have I taken refuge; Let me never be ashamed.  Deliver me in Thy righteousness, and rescue me; Incline Thine ear upon me, and save me.  Be Thou to me a sheltering rock, whereunto I may continually resort, Which Thou has appointed to save me; For Thou art my rock and my fortress.”
• Pema Choddron’s The Places That Scare You: Point Three – Transformation of Bad Circumstances into the Path of Enlightenment.

 
In Eckhart Tolle’s words, “When you no longer perceive the world as hostile, there is no more fear, and when there is no more fear, you think, speak, and act differently.”  May your Trust and Surrender take you to the greatest place of LOVE you could have ever imagined.

​Linda Goodman, a Mediator, Reiki Master, and Consultant/Coach, is a guest blogger and coauthor of F.A.I.T.H. – Finding Answers in the Heart, Volume II. To order your copy of this inspirational book, click here.

by Barbara J. Hopkinson

This is the Valentine month, so what better topic than one about loving yourself? Not in a selfish, narcissistic way, but in favor of self-care.  

Self-care is especially important in grief recovery and that is one area where it is often ignored. When we are grieving, we are in pain and not motivated to take care of ourselves.  Often we are worried about others in the family and their grief, so we focus on them. But what we may forget is that we will be of much more value to those around us if we take care of ourselves.  

Grief can be like an illness—our bodies and minds are in shock, not operating at full capacity; we feel sluggish.  If we were ill, we’d probably get bed rest, see a doctor, eat well, drink fluids, and maybe take prescription or holistic remedies.  Grief needs tender self-care as well.  Rest, good nutrition, and doing things to help reduce stress are useful. Activities such as exercise, deep breathing, and journaling help.  Be a little self-indulgent and get a facial or massage, take time to walk in nature and reflect.  Talk to those in your support system.  Talk to your loved one, write to him or her, see what your intuition tells you—do you feel a response?  You may also want to explore energy-based and spiritual practices such as yoga, meditation, and many of the energy healing modalities.  If you haven’t tried these before, keep an open mind. You might be surprised how much they can help.   

My grief sent me on a journey.  It was difficult but it made me much stronger and it helped me to get more in touch with my intuition—both are benefits.  I tried all kinds of things, many for the first time—therapy, meditation, yoga, energy healing, reflexology, polarity, shamanic massage, spiritual development retreats, visits to referred mediums and psychics, and more.  But I also forced myself not to totally bury myself in work. I knew that was just delaying the inevitable.  I made myself take quiet time and walk in nature, especially on the beach—a favorite for me.  

One of the most important things, when I was ready, was to reach out and help others. Helping is very healing and another form of self-care — while we are caring for others.  It works!

May you always remember to be GOOD to YOU!         

Barbara J. Hopkinson, Grief Mentor, Author, and Speaker with A Butterfly’s Journey, is a guest blogger and coauthor of F.A.I.T.H. – Finding Answers in the Heart, Volume II. To pre-order your copy of this inspirational book, click here.