​Self-care isn’t always about indulging yourself in manicures and late-night movies (although those are really important). Self-care is about doing what’s needed to have the life you want, no matter how difficult it may seem: Speaking up to your best friend or your boss, recycling the clothes you’ll never fit into no matter how many diets you try, asking for professional help so you can resolve your relationship or insomnia or whatever isn’t working. Now, more than ever, is the time for you to take care of you. The stronger and more centered you are, the easier it will be to weather what crops up.
 
Following are ten ways to step up your positive attitude and overall well-being:

1. Say what you mean. Are you afraid to express yourself because you’ll hurt someone’s feelings or your words might be misconstrued? Speaking up is much more than just saying “no.” When you don’t express yourself or stuff your feelings, people don’t have the opportunity to see and know the real you. Being true to yourself not only empowers you, it empowers those around you. So don’t be afraid to speak your truth. When you say what you mean you honor yourself and you give others the chance to know you, the real you, the one they’re longing to know.
2. Take baby steps. Whatever your goal, you don’t have to get there today. Or even tomorrow. Trying to get there too fast can cause stress and frustration and bring up feelings of “I’m not good enough” or “why can’t I be like him/her?” Remember the wise saying, “All good things come to those who wait.” Picture the Buddha and see yourself smiling and patient. Make one new change in your lifestyle and see how that goes. When that’s working well, then add something else. Take baby steps. There’s no hurry.
3. Let go of the past. Isn’t it amazing how hard it is to let go? Those events that transpired eons ago—the raise you didn’t get, the relationship that failed, a family member saying you’ll never amount to anything—can still create feelings of fear, anger, shame, guilt. And all that’s doing is ruining your current life. It’s time to let those puppies go. You don’t have to be stuck with that baggage. Coaching, energy healing, therapy, meditation, inner child work, tapping, there are hundreds of methods to help you access those memories and transform them. And when you rewrite the past, you create a brand new present.
4. Connect with Spirit. It doesn’t matter whether you believe in God or the Divine or simply an energy that binds us all together. Seeing, understanding, believing, or knowing about that connection serves to calm you. You could be exercising or deep breathing or just looking at a flower, something that transports you out of your typical awareness. When you’re in that “zone,” you feel a deep inner peace that can transcend time and space. Those little moments are like nectar to your body, mind, and soul.
5. Appreciate yourself. To paraphrase Elizabeth Barrett Browning, “How do you love yourself? Can you count the ways?” Appreciation goes farther than skin deep. It penetrates to the core of your being and radiates beyond. The more you love yourself, the more lovable you become. We all have our flaws and faults, but this is about finding the things you like. Do you love your eyes, the way you support your friends and family, how you find joy in the little things? Start a list of the things you appreciate, at least one per day, and tell yourself how much you love that quality. Before you know it you’ll be in love with YOU.
6. Reward yourself. Are you searching for acknowledgment? Recognition? A little praise? You don’t have to wait for someone else to give it. Give it to yourself! It’s easy to overlook all the little things you do—cleaning the house, exercising, finishing that painting. But all those things matter and create space for the bigger things—an inviting home, a well-toned body, winning first place at the art show. Acknowledge your successes and reward yourself (the reward begins a pattern of self-acknowledgment). Take a bubble bath with lighted candles and soft music. Indulge in that dark chocolate. Buy yourself a new dress. You deserve it!
7. Get up and move. Exercise may be a dreaded word, but the body is designed to move. Exercise improves your mood, increases endorphins, and decreases stress. So get up and move! You don’t have to join a gym. Even little movements can help. Try stretching or ease into yoga or qigong. Walking outdoors is fantastic. Or dust off your stationary bicycle or elliptical machine. If you’re at work and you only have a minute or two, get up from your desk and take a brisk walk around the office. Movement makes the body happy and a happy body means a happier you.
8. Be grateful. Giving thanks is one of the most important aspects of self-care. If you do nothing else, be grateful for who you are and what you have. As in self-appreciation, find something to be thankful for—your job, your friends, your spouse, your health, your house, the food you eat, the ground under your feet. Nothing is too small. Giving thanks creates a beautiful vibration that increases your prosperity and attracts more to be thankful for. [Try the thirty-day experiment in Thank and Grow Rich by Pam Grout.]
9. Laugh and play. When was the last time you felt like a little kid? Remember playtime? Hopscotch, jump rope, hide and seek, jacks? Games that made you laugh and squeal with pleasure? Your inner child is still with you, wanting to come out and play. Fun lights up your soul and makes you radiate with joy. So dip your toes into a nearby lake, pull out the croquet set, play some badminton or horseshoes or miniature golf. Get your joy on! You might be surprised how wonderful you feel.
10. Follow your dreams. Now that you’ve revitalized your inner child, take a moment and recapture your dreams. What did you want to be when you grew up? Dreams are fueled by your imagination, and your imagination is endless. If you wanted to be a painter, what about a painting class? If you thought about writing, try an online course or join a writer’s group. If you wanted to be an astronaut, visit a space camp. It’s never too late. Creativity and exploration are like candy to your soul. So let your imagination loose and explore. You’ll feel recharged and restored.

 
There’s no guarantee that life won’t throw you more curve-balls. As we all know, it’s a crazy obstacle course. But if you use some or all of the steps here, you will be a happier, healthier, and more prosperous YOU.

[Originally published in the Conscious Life Journal, ​July 2018]

Do you love yourself only when you feel good? What about when you fail a test, don’t get a raise, or can’t fit into your new clothes? What if you could really love yourself all the time?
 
The term “self-love” means the love of oneself, the instinct or desire to promote one’s own well-being. True self-love is not narcissistic or self-indulgent but an awareness of your inner power.  Self-love acknowledges who you are and what you like. Those stirrings inside you (a love of nature, playing with color, writing songs, rescuing animals) are meant to point your way. By cultivating your gifts, you show your true passions to the world. Your light illuminates the way for others and allows them to shine as well.
 
How do you start loving yourself? Here are five ways to begin the journey.
 
1) Address self-sabotage. Does your inner voice say you’re not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough? Those negative thoughts stem from past experience and are lodged in your unconscious. Before you can practice self-love you need to let them go. You can heal these thoughts through techniques like hypnotherapy, coaching, tapping (EFT), and the Sedona Method. By changing your beliefs, you allow the real you to emerge.
 
2) Use affirmations. Affirmations are positive statements that train your subconscious mind to develop new ways of thinking. Here are some self-love affirmations to get you started.
 
I love myself just the way I am.
I appreciate who I am right now.
I let go of my fears and go forward with confidence.
 
3) Appreciate yourself. Really look in the mirror. When was the last time you told yourself how beautiful or handsome you are? Loving what you see is an act of courage, a demand for unconditional acceptance. Last year when I was suffering with horrible hip pain and screaming my anguish, I confronted myself. The lies I’ve perpetrated. The ones that said I’m not beautiful. I’m not worthy. I am less than. I stood there with tears streaming down my face and said, “I love you.” At first I could barely whisper those words. But with each repetition my voice strengthened. As I confirmed the truth about me, the pain lessened until it finally disappeared and I acknowledged who I really am.
 
Start with what you DO like and really love that part of you. The more you do this, the more you’ll incorporate parts of you that you didn’t like before. And when you truly love yourself, others will too.
 
4) Be creative. Do you love to play with color, write, sing, make something with your hands? Give yourself permission to follow that voice that’s saying “can I, can I?” Play. Explore. Discover. Embracing your passions is a sure way to love yourself.
 
5) Practice forgiveness. Criticizing yourself or comparing yourself to others only hurts you. Sometimes it’s hard to remember you’re not perfect. But holding on to that resentment can cripple your body, literally. Forgiveness is a way to heal and move forward with peace and love. Say a forgiveness prayer faithfully—for at least 30 days— and watch those hurts begin to release and dissolve.
 
These are just a few ways to practice self-love and engage in loving thoughts. The more you love yourself, the more you step into your power. Experience the love that is rightfully yours. Let your light shine. Be the amazing person you can be.

[Originally published in the Conscious Life Journal​, March 2017]

by Linda Goodman

When “I” is replaced by “We,” even Illness turns into Wellness. You are not alone in your quest for WELLNESS and Complete Health of Body, Mind, and Spirit, but Knowing Thyself is an important component.

Paul Chek, a health coach, trainer and rehabilitator, identifies six elements of Health:
• Thinking
• Nutrition
• Movement
• Sleeping
• Hydration
• Breathing

You may take a different view of the true definition of good health, but the mind-body connection has been proven; thus, our thoughts should be the first quality we consider. IF there are self-defeating thought patterns or non-interaction, perhaps the focus on self has become such a primary source of information that we don’t recognize we might be out of balance. Interactions can help distract one from discomforts, and laughter is known for its healing power. Daniel Amen of PBS fame suggests “Brain Health” (which involves ALL of the above) is the way to add more vitality and alertness to the years we have.

In a simpler society, going to a healer for being disheartened or decline in the body would have led to these questions:
• When did you stop dancing?
• When did you stop singing?
• When did stories stop inspiring you?
• When did you forget to seek silence?

Asking these questions of ourselves might bring us deeper into knowing our bodies and recognizing unhealthy patterns. Negative self-talk isn’t the way to a healthier self; ACTING upon a newer and healthier habit is.

Studies confirm that chronic stress weakens the immune system. So if you notice you’re keeping a stomachache, or a tight neck, or yelling more and reacting rather than calmly stepping back and responding, consider relaxation techniques that are right for you—walking, yoga, meditating, a massage, sitting quietly in nature. Relaxation is good for the wellness of your Entire Being.

To bring your wellness into balance:

1) Begin a journal and write down, daily: Feelings, Thoughts, Three things that bring gratitude, and note what beliefs or actions might help in getting healthier.

2) Conscious decision-making is a good investment in our health and all other parts of our lives. Walk mindfully, barefoot in the grass, slowly and deliberately. Develop a mantra to guide you on your road to complete health. Or breathe in four stages: Breathe in – Renew and Reaffirm, then Breathe out – Release and Review.  BREATHE mindfully and be aware of NOT holding your breath while anxious.

3) If there’s trauma or a serious medical condition (whether physical or mental) go to a qualified professional, immediately. Reviews, resource materials, and websites will allow you to find someone whose personality and bedside manner is a good fit. Chronic illnesses and pain management need the patient’s Active Participation. Everyone deserves the best care and attention by someone who listens and can provide a healing modality that is right for each situation. Don’t give up until you find what helps you remember how to regain Joy and Dance.

by Terry Crump

Have you ever been astonished when an individual responds to inquiries about how s/he is doing with, “I am well,” despite significant pain or serious disease? In these types of situations, we might think, “Oh she’s trying to keep a positive outlook; he’s hoping for the best. “ If we are honest with ourselves, more often we tend to be critical, privately thinking that this person should just acknowledge that s/he is struggling, deal with reality, “Stop frontin’!”  It’s easy to embrace the popular cultural viewpoint focusing primarily on one aspect of the self—the physical self, that which can be seen. It’s the same perspective that may overvalue aesthetics and physical appeal while minimizing internal characteristics and traits. But what about the Spirit and/or Soul of a person? Is it possible for one’s Spirit and Soul to be well even in dire circumstances and challenging life experiences? Are some people electing to attend to that which cannot be seen, to those things that may actually be more salient to them and to their survival? Can you feed the Spirit, nurture the Soul, and celebrate life even in the face of the most adverse situations? 

Undoubtedly, yes!  However, first we must adopt a more whole and less reductionist view of ourselves. We are more than just our bodies, with or without its frailties, or appearance, or skin.  These are aspects of our being that don’t necessarily define us. They don’t represent the essence of who we are. Parts of the self may be encountering very challenging circumstances and yet one’s Spirit and Soul can thrive.  It’s the duality of wellness.  If we recognize that a person may present as physically healthy and strong, and yet be suffering emotionally, conversely, one may actually be well and have Lupus or Parkinson’s (pick any feared condition). This is the paradox of being well with illness. 

The challenge for us is to embrace more consistently a wider perspective on wellness, one that is multilayered or multidimensional. Are you emotionally well? Spiritually well? Financially well? Imagine how rich our conversations could be, how connected to each other we would feel if we truly expressed interest in all aspects of the self when we dialogue with each other.  I am not suggesting that we have to examine these intricacies each time we meet, or share all of this with everyone.  But wouldn’t it be nice to expand our thinking about wellness, be less superficial with each other, and be more health-promoting in our exchanges? One of the more apparent benefits would be to reduce isolation and increase connection.

Today, I encourage you to be well in more than just one area. Are you well? Is your soul well? Indeed, I am well.

Terry Crump, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist, board certified clinical hypnotherapist, and owner of Crump Wellness Services, is a guest blogger and coauthor of F.A.I.T.H. - Finding Answers in the Heart, Volume II. To order your copy of the book, click here.