by Judy Keating

We have often been told “it is better to give than receive.” It is truly a wonderful feeling when we are able to give to people we love. Society has deemed the giver a more honorable place to be. 

If you have ever been in a relationship where you are always giving, in most cases you become resentful, even if it is unconsciously. Brené Brown, who is world famous for her work in helping people with shame, vulnerability, and worthiness, shared a personal revelation. Do I as a giver have a judgment about the receiver?  Sit with that. Have you ever felt like the person you were giving to was weak or “needed your help?”  

If so, than in your giving you have possibly devalued that other person and it is no wonder that you feel uncomfortable receiving. In our society being weak or needy is paramount to the plague. This mindset muddies the water of being in a relationship. 

When we are in conscious equal partnership with another, we honor, believe, and expect that the giving and receiving will go both ways. Being open to receive is essential. Imagine that you could only breathe out. Eventually you would pass out due to lack of breath. When we breathe in, we receive; when we breathe out we give back and the plants, trees, etc. benefit. What an incredible system that is, automatically set for giving and receiving because it is a natural cycle. Yes, receiving is indeed as virtuous as giving. Without the cycle being completed and flowing in both directions, the energy becomes stagnant and without life force.

Receiving takes vulnerability. It is the art of being open to what life wants to gift you. Are there things, people, and accomplishments in your life that you desire?  Are you ready to receive? 
Here are 3 ways to increase your ability to receive:

1.    Be grateful for what you have. Not the platitude of gratitude. Put your hand on your heart, think of someone, something, or a place that you love. Then breathe into that love and send thanks and appreciation. This helps anchor the gift that appreciation is a way of receiving on a deeper level what someone has given you.

2.    Do not attach to what you want having to come “your way.” We have all tried to figure out how to get something the way we think it should happen. This blocks receiving from many other avenues. And it can prevent us from seeing other potentials and opportunities.

3.    Read Gay Hendricks' The Big Leap which uncovers upper limit beliefs that prevent us from receiving more love, goodness, money, health, or happiness determined by our Upper Limit internal set point. This is about understanding your unconscious beliefs about receiving and ways to change them.

The most profound way you can improve your ability to receive is to notice what you feel when receiving anything—a compliment, help with a heavy door, an unexpected gift or bonus, or someone saying I want to give you (fill in the blank).  Stop and notice what feelings, sensations, or thoughts pop up. Do you deflect, shrink, or feel uncomfortable? Just notice what happens. Becoming conscious of how you receive will give you valuable information about ways to better your acceptance of being open to receive what you desire most—connection, joy, and gratitude for all you have been given.

​Judy Keating M.A. is a co-author of F.A.I.T.H, Finding Answers in the Heart, Volume II. She is a Master Certified Shift Your Grief ™ Coach, an intuitive healer, Reiki Master, Crystalline Consciousness Technique Advanced Practitioner, sought-after Workshop Facilitator, and Public Speaker. See her website www.innerlifecoaching.net for more information.

by Angela Rodriguez

A day ago I was graced by an experience that reminded me of the great joy of choice.

I went to a going away party for a co-worker of my boyfriend Damian. I opted to drive myself so Damian could stay later and enjoy himself. 

One of his co-workers, whom I was meeting for the first time, shook my hand with the cupping fashion of over and under, which to me is the best type of handshake as it forms a full circle from the heart chakra, down the arm, through the hand, up the other arm, and back to the heart chakra.

As he moved on to greet more people, I turned to Damian and said, "He's a very special guy. I like his energy." Damian smiled in agreement and said, "You can tell all that from a simple handshake?"

Hours passed and it was time to go. As I said my goodbyes, this same genuine man said, "I don't know if you've been drinking, but I saw the police setting up a DUI checkpoint on Broadway Street. To avoid it all, you should take El Camino home."

It was brisk and dark outside. I kissed Damian farewell, then swiftly continued to my car.  I talked myself into taking El Camino, even though it would add another 10-15 minutes to my commute home.

As I approached El Camino, readying myself to turn right, my eye caught the shadow of someone in the crosswalk. In my mind, this someone was definitely taking to long to cross. I let out a deep sigh, while my inside voice said, oh c'mon, hurry up already!!

The figure grew closer, and I realized it was an elderly woman with a cane and rolling basket full of groceries, who was so dutifully attempting to get across the street with all of her might.

I took another deep breath, and suddenly my breath caught in my throat. My headlights caught the front wheels of her cart and one of the wheels wedged itself in a crack in the street. The woman moved her cart to and fro, but it would not budge and almost tipped over. 

I watched her for a good 30 seconds, conflicted in helping because she appeared to almost get the cart out herself. 

Time slowed down in my internal clock and headlights started to line up in my rear view mirror. I knew I had to help her. I jumped out of my car, approached her gently, then smiled broadly at her as I asked her if she needed any assistance.

She looked at me with delight, smiled back, and said, "Oh, yes, please, it's so hard for me now that there aren't many taxis."

I lifted her cart of groceries up and out of the crack, then placed the cart on the sidewalk. I heard her gasp with surprise at my strength, which made me giggle. The headlights behind my car were now 5 car lengths deep, and the light had turned from red to green, however not a one was honking with impatience. A pleasant surprise. I walked back into the crosswalk to assist the lady to the corner. I took her elbow and guided her safely up the curb. She thanked me profusely and told me she was fine now and lived close by. 

As we quickly said our farewells, a man rolled by on a bicycle. His eyes locked with mine, and he simply said, "God bless you."

I climbed back into my car and finally made that right hand turn onto El Camino, saying to myself, "That was Jesus." The entire incident, from beginning to end, was divine flow. Gratefully I chose to listen, to allow, to serve. In the end, I was blessed with the full circle of love which all started with a handshake that wasn't so simple after all. 

With Gratitude, dear readers, listen to the gentle flow of Spirit and ride on its breath. Happy Holidays!

Angela Rodriguez, Sergeant of Police for the San Francisco Police Department, an Advanced Reiki Practitioner, and Intermediate Channel, is a guest blogger and coauthor of F.A.I.T.H. – Finding Answers in the Heart, Volume II. To order your copy of this inspirational book, click here.