​Self-care isn’t always about indulging yourself in manicures and late-night movies (although those are really important). Self-care is about doing what’s needed to have the life you want, no matter how difficult it may seem: Speaking up to your best friend or your boss, recycling the clothes you’ll never fit into no matter how many diets you try, asking for professional help so you can resolve your relationship or insomnia or whatever isn’t working. Now, more than ever, is the time for you to take care of you. The stronger and more centered you are, the easier it will be to weather what crops up.
 
Following are ten ways to step up your positive attitude and overall well-being:

1. Say what you mean. Are you afraid to express yourself because you’ll hurt someone’s feelings or your words might be misconstrued? Speaking up is much more than just saying “no.” When you don’t express yourself or stuff your feelings, people don’t have the opportunity to see and know the real you. Being true to yourself not only empowers you, it empowers those around you. So don’t be afraid to speak your truth. When you say what you mean you honor yourself and you give others the chance to know you, the real you, the one they’re longing to know.
2. Take baby steps. Whatever your goal, you don’t have to get there today. Or even tomorrow. Trying to get there too fast can cause stress and frustration and bring up feelings of “I’m not good enough” or “why can’t I be like him/her?” Remember the wise saying, “All good things come to those who wait.” Picture the Buddha and see yourself smiling and patient. Make one new change in your lifestyle and see how that goes. When that’s working well, then add something else. Take baby steps. There’s no hurry.
3. Let go of the past. Isn’t it amazing how hard it is to let go? Those events that transpired eons ago—the raise you didn’t get, the relationship that failed, a family member saying you’ll never amount to anything—can still create feelings of fear, anger, shame, guilt. And all that’s doing is ruining your current life. It’s time to let those puppies go. You don’t have to be stuck with that baggage. Coaching, energy healing, therapy, meditation, inner child work, tapping, there are hundreds of methods to help you access those memories and transform them. And when you rewrite the past, you create a brand new present.
4. Connect with Spirit. It doesn’t matter whether you believe in God or the Divine or simply an energy that binds us all together. Seeing, understanding, believing, or knowing about that connection serves to calm you. You could be exercising or deep breathing or just looking at a flower, something that transports you out of your typical awareness. When you’re in that “zone,” you feel a deep inner peace that can transcend time and space. Those little moments are like nectar to your body, mind, and soul.
5. Appreciate yourself. To paraphrase Elizabeth Barrett Browning, “How do you love yourself? Can you count the ways?” Appreciation goes farther than skin deep. It penetrates to the core of your being and radiates beyond. The more you love yourself, the more lovable you become. We all have our flaws and faults, but this is about finding the things you like. Do you love your eyes, the way you support your friends and family, how you find joy in the little things? Start a list of the things you appreciate, at least one per day, and tell yourself how much you love that quality. Before you know it you’ll be in love with YOU.
6. Reward yourself. Are you searching for acknowledgment? Recognition? A little praise? You don’t have to wait for someone else to give it. Give it to yourself! It’s easy to overlook all the little things you do—cleaning the house, exercising, finishing that painting. But all those things matter and create space for the bigger things—an inviting home, a well-toned body, winning first place at the art show. Acknowledge your successes and reward yourself (the reward begins a pattern of self-acknowledgment). Take a bubble bath with lighted candles and soft music. Indulge in that dark chocolate. Buy yourself a new dress. You deserve it!
7. Get up and move. Exercise may be a dreaded word, but the body is designed to move. Exercise improves your mood, increases endorphins, and decreases stress. So get up and move! You don’t have to join a gym. Even little movements can help. Try stretching or ease into yoga or qigong. Walking outdoors is fantastic. Or dust off your stationary bicycle or elliptical machine. If you’re at work and you only have a minute or two, get up from your desk and take a brisk walk around the office. Movement makes the body happy and a happy body means a happier you.
8. Be grateful. Giving thanks is one of the most important aspects of self-care. If you do nothing else, be grateful for who you are and what you have. As in self-appreciation, find something to be thankful for—your job, your friends, your spouse, your health, your house, the food you eat, the ground under your feet. Nothing is too small. Giving thanks creates a beautiful vibration that increases your prosperity and attracts more to be thankful for. [Try the thirty-day experiment in Thank and Grow Rich by Pam Grout.]
9. Laugh and play. When was the last time you felt like a little kid? Remember playtime? Hopscotch, jump rope, hide and seek, jacks? Games that made you laugh and squeal with pleasure? Your inner child is still with you, wanting to come out and play. Fun lights up your soul and makes you radiate with joy. So dip your toes into a nearby lake, pull out the croquet set, play some badminton or horseshoes or miniature golf. Get your joy on! You might be surprised how wonderful you feel.
10. Follow your dreams. Now that you’ve revitalized your inner child, take a moment and recapture your dreams. What did you want to be when you grew up? Dreams are fueled by your imagination, and your imagination is endless. If you wanted to be a painter, what about a painting class? If you thought about writing, try an online course or join a writer’s group. If you wanted to be an astronaut, visit a space camp. It’s never too late. Creativity and exploration are like candy to your soul. So let your imagination loose and explore. You’ll feel recharged and restored.

 
There’s no guarantee that life won’t throw you more curve-balls. As we all know, it’s a crazy obstacle course. But if you use some or all of the steps here, you will be a happier, healthier, and more prosperous YOU.

[Originally published in the Conscious Life Journal, ​July 2018]

by Judy Keating

We have often been told “it is better to give than receive.” It is truly a wonderful feeling when we are able to give to people we love. Society has deemed the giver a more honorable place to be. 

If you have ever been in a relationship where you are always giving, in most cases you become resentful, even if it is unconsciously. Brené Brown, who is world famous for her work in helping people with shame, vulnerability, and worthiness, shared a personal revelation. Do I as a giver have a judgment about the receiver?  Sit with that. Have you ever felt like the person you were giving to was weak or “needed your help?”  

If so, than in your giving you have possibly devalued that other person and it is no wonder that you feel uncomfortable receiving. In our society being weak or needy is paramount to the plague. This mindset muddies the water of being in a relationship. 

When we are in conscious equal partnership with another, we honor, believe, and expect that the giving and receiving will go both ways. Being open to receive is essential. Imagine that you could only breathe out. Eventually you would pass out due to lack of breath. When we breathe in, we receive; when we breathe out we give back and the plants, trees, etc. benefit. What an incredible system that is, automatically set for giving and receiving because it is a natural cycle. Yes, receiving is indeed as virtuous as giving. Without the cycle being completed and flowing in both directions, the energy becomes stagnant and without life force.

Receiving takes vulnerability. It is the art of being open to what life wants to gift you. Are there things, people, and accomplishments in your life that you desire?  Are you ready to receive? 
Here are 3 ways to increase your ability to receive:

1.    Be grateful for what you have. Not the platitude of gratitude. Put your hand on your heart, think of someone, something, or a place that you love. Then breathe into that love and send thanks and appreciation. This helps anchor the gift that appreciation is a way of receiving on a deeper level what someone has given you.

2.    Do not attach to what you want having to come “your way.” We have all tried to figure out how to get something the way we think it should happen. This blocks receiving from many other avenues. And it can prevent us from seeing other potentials and opportunities.

3.    Read Gay Hendricks' The Big Leap which uncovers upper limit beliefs that prevent us from receiving more love, goodness, money, health, or happiness determined by our Upper Limit internal set point. This is about understanding your unconscious beliefs about receiving and ways to change them.

The most profound way you can improve your ability to receive is to notice what you feel when receiving anything—a compliment, help with a heavy door, an unexpected gift or bonus, or someone saying I want to give you (fill in the blank).  Stop and notice what feelings, sensations, or thoughts pop up. Do you deflect, shrink, or feel uncomfortable? Just notice what happens. Becoming conscious of how you receive will give you valuable information about ways to better your acceptance of being open to receive what you desire most—connection, joy, and gratitude for all you have been given.

​Judy Keating M.A. is a co-author of F.A.I.T.H, Finding Answers in the Heart, Volume II. She is a Master Certified Shift Your Grief ™ Coach, an intuitive healer, Reiki Master, Crystalline Consciousness Technique Advanced Practitioner, sought-after Workshop Facilitator, and Public Speaker. See her website www.innerlifecoaching.net for more information.

by Angela Rodriguez

A day ago I was graced by an experience that reminded me of the great joy of choice.

I went to a going away party for a co-worker of my boyfriend Damian. I opted to drive myself so Damian could stay later and enjoy himself. 

One of his co-workers, whom I was meeting for the first time, shook my hand with the cupping fashion of over and under, which to me is the best type of handshake as it forms a full circle from the heart chakra, down the arm, through the hand, up the other arm, and back to the heart chakra.

As he moved on to greet more people, I turned to Damian and said, "He's a very special guy. I like his energy." Damian smiled in agreement and said, "You can tell all that from a simple handshake?"

Hours passed and it was time to go. As I said my goodbyes, this same genuine man said, "I don't know if you've been drinking, but I saw the police setting up a DUI checkpoint on Broadway Street. To avoid it all, you should take El Camino home."

It was brisk and dark outside. I kissed Damian farewell, then swiftly continued to my car.  I talked myself into taking El Camino, even though it would add another 10-15 minutes to my commute home.

As I approached El Camino, readying myself to turn right, my eye caught the shadow of someone in the crosswalk. In my mind, this someone was definitely taking to long to cross. I let out a deep sigh, while my inside voice said, oh c'mon, hurry up already!!

The figure grew closer, and I realized it was an elderly woman with a cane and rolling basket full of groceries, who was so dutifully attempting to get across the street with all of her might.

I took another deep breath, and suddenly my breath caught in my throat. My headlights caught the front wheels of her cart and one of the wheels wedged itself in a crack in the street. The woman moved her cart to and fro, but it would not budge and almost tipped over. 

I watched her for a good 30 seconds, conflicted in helping because she appeared to almost get the cart out herself. 

Time slowed down in my internal clock and headlights started to line up in my rear view mirror. I knew I had to help her. I jumped out of my car, approached her gently, then smiled broadly at her as I asked her if she needed any assistance.

She looked at me with delight, smiled back, and said, "Oh, yes, please, it's so hard for me now that there aren't many taxis."

I lifted her cart of groceries up and out of the crack, then placed the cart on the sidewalk. I heard her gasp with surprise at my strength, which made me giggle. The headlights behind my car were now 5 car lengths deep, and the light had turned from red to green, however not a one was honking with impatience. A pleasant surprise. I walked back into the crosswalk to assist the lady to the corner. I took her elbow and guided her safely up the curb. She thanked me profusely and told me she was fine now and lived close by. 

As we quickly said our farewells, a man rolled by on a bicycle. His eyes locked with mine, and he simply said, "God bless you."

I climbed back into my car and finally made that right hand turn onto El Camino, saying to myself, "That was Jesus." The entire incident, from beginning to end, was divine flow. Gratefully I chose to listen, to allow, to serve. In the end, I was blessed with the full circle of love which all started with a handshake that wasn't so simple after all. 

With Gratitude, dear readers, listen to the gentle flow of Spirit and ride on its breath. Happy Holidays!

Angela Rodriguez, Sergeant of Police for the San Francisco Police Department, an Advanced Reiki Practitioner, and Intermediate Channel, is a guest blogger and coauthor of F.A.I.T.H. – Finding Answers in the Heart, Volume II. To order your copy of this inspirational book, click here.