​There are millions of self-help books written about success and how to achieve it. Jack Canfield wrote The Success Principles. Steven Covey wrote The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. There’s The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, How Successful People Think by John C. Maxwell, and Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, to name a few. And every year more books are written. You’d think we haven’t figured it out.

I’ve read numerous self-help books on both personal and business success and still haven’t achieved the level that makes me feel accomplished. And many others are in the same place. Do you know why? The answer, for me, is that I wasn’t sure what I wanted.
 
People who get what they want have clear, measurable goals. Rather than saying, “I want to be rich,” they say, “I want to make $100K this year.” Rich is a vague concept. $100K is a measurable amount. If you make $99,999 you haven’t reached your goal.

​When I think about money, especially in terms of my business, I’m often unclear. I usually can’t make up my mind how much I want—$50K, $75K, $100K, or more. When I get into the larger numbers my conscious mind balks. “That’s too much,” it says, meaning it doesn’t think I can do it. But if I set my goal too low, then there’s a big piece of me that wants more.
 
So the first step in having what you want is to be clear about your goal.
 
This year I started reading The Path to Wealth: Seven Spiritual Steps to Financial Abundance by May McCarthy. The first thing that excited me about this book is that the 7 steps are listed in the Table of Contents. How easy is that? Then in the first chapter she gives you an overview of those steps and how you’re supposed to work with them each day. It couldn’t be simpler. The remainder of the book goes into more detail about each of the steps and offers additional help on reaching your goals. 
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A huge portion of my spiritual growth right now is about deepening my connection to Spirit (God, Divine, Source) and trusting it to find my highest good. I used to be all about controlling the situation and only relying on myself. I felt I had to save all my money in order to have more, rather than being willing to give to receive. Those beliefs are changing. I began working the 7 steps on January 8 and am now into my second week. Each morning I thank my CSO (Chief Spiritual Officer) for all that I have (right now) and all that I will have (as if I already have it). The exercise is fun, exciting, and ever-changing. I haven’t seen a huge windfall of cash or an avalanche of clients, but I am much more at peace and excited about facing every day. And I know the abundance is there because I’m trusting in Source to deliver.
 
Another part of The Path to Wealth is beginning your day with reading something spiritual. McCarthy recommends the book The Game of Life and How to Play It by Florence Scovill Shin. It’s a small book written in 1925 by a metaphysical teacher and chock full of wonderful examples of using universal law and the correct wording to attract what you want. She gives story after story to illustrate her meaning. One of my favorite examples is about asking for more work. People often ask for more work (e.g., more clients) because they want more money. But they don’t specifically ask for more money. So she gives a simple rhyme to cover both bases:

I have a wonderful business
In a wonderful way
And I give a wonderful service
For wonderful pay.​
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​Easy to say, easy to remember, and the wording is just right!
 
So do you have what you want? This is a brand new year, a year to have fun, to expand, to accelerate your growth, and to achieve those lofty goals. Be clear. Trust in Spirit. And expect miracles!

by Ricia L. Maxie

At this most extraordinary time of Christmas we’re reminded of the story of Scrooge with his ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future. These ghosts appeared to him to bring meaning, life, and light to his lifeless and dreary existence.  In the end we’re reminded to keep an open heart and give subsistence, time, and love to others.  

Yet what I’ve discovered is that there are three more insidious ghosts that can permeate us and tremendously limit our lives.  These are the ghost of Jealousy, the ghost of I Don’t Count, and the ghost of I’m Not Good Enough.

When I was a little girl, the ghost of Jealousy resided in our home—filled the walls, saturated the furniture, and, unfortunately and most importantly, imbued our family.  Because it felt like there wasn’t enough love to go around, family members tried to snatch pieces of love away from each other.  The love was there; we just didn’t know how to share it.  The ghost of Jealousy didn’t start with my family of origin, though.  It had woven through generations of ancestors, twisting and turning until it landed squarely in our family unit.

The ghost of Jealousy wasn’t the only spirit to live with us.  I remember one day as a child, standing in the dining room, and the only boy—my baby brother—was carried home from the hospital.  There had been four girls up until then, and there was to be another girl after him.  I was so excited watching my parents and their friends bring him into our home.  His sweet little body was swaddled in yellow blankets; gifts of all sorts were bestowed upon my parents because they finally had a boy.  I was most delighted because he was my charge.  I would watch after him until I moved out.  Yet it took me many years to discover what clogged my cells that day, blinded my eyes, and filled my mind.  I couldn’t distinguish it at the time—I was just seven—but I knew something ghastly had happened.  Something was different and I wasn’t ever going to be the same.  Jealousy for that sweet boy wasn’t in my heart.  It was something else, something more devious. It was the ghost of I Don’t Count.  

The ghost of I’m Not Good Enough directed the next thirty years of my life, triggering within me the feeling that I didn’t have enough to offer and whatever was offered wasn’t nearly good enough.  Anything I did, whether for my family of origin, my own family, or for work, proved to me that the ghost of I’m Not Good Enough was always the winner.

Fortunately I met something stronger than all of those ghosts: The Angel of Receiving.  The Angel of Receiving is a significant, winged Being, shimmering of luminous light, and born of the Source, the Light, the All That Is.  She moves through each person, permeating each with a glow of light, love, and appreciation when we let her.

All Light comes from the Divine, often through the Angels, and is the original gift.  This loving Light is given to us, and if we don’t have walls it fills us with kindness.  We then have something to give to others, to the world.  Giving makes the difference because it makes the planet a more peaceful and livable place.  But we cannot give unless we have first learned to receive.  We can only receive when we free ourselves of ghosts that cause shadows and lifelessness.

It’s hard to speak with or give to someone who is closed to receiving, closed to the inoculation of beauty and tranquility from the Angel of Receiving.  They have little or no appreciation for your gifts, whether physical, emotional, or spiritual.  I used to give gifts frequently until I learned that giving is nothing without the other half.  One of my spiritual teachers stopped allowing me to do for her until I was able to permit my heart to receive.  Best lesson ever.  When we can both give and receive, the Angel assists us with self-worth and self-esteem.  If we can’t receive, we have nothing to give.  When we’re open to receive then we can give.

If I were to still carry jealousy, I couldn’t appreciate people.  If I still felt I didn’t count, I wouldn’t feel worthy.  And if I believed I wasn’t good enough, no gift of any form that I gave could be from a place of love.  The Angel of Receiving trumps any lifeless ghost.  It’s never too late to learn this valuable message.

​Ricia L. Maxie, An internationally renowned intuitive consultant/mystic, Reiki practitioner, and speaker, is a guest blogger and coauthor of F.A.I.T.H. – Finding Answers in the Heart, Volumes I and II. To order your copy of these inspirational books, click here.

We’ve just ended the month of November, the time for Gratitude. Now we’re easing our way into December, the month usually reserved for Giving. The holidays are upon us and it’s all about giving presents. There’s a wonderful scene near the end of The Bishop’s Wife where David Niven, who plays the Bishop, talks about giving. “You give me a book; I give you a tie. Aunt Martha has always wanted an orange squeezer and Uncle Henry could do with a new pipe.” We do our best to “get” what our loved ones want. To “give” so they’ll be happy.

But giving is a two-way practice. When you give a gift, you’re giving more than the item. Shopping for gifts involves time and money. Baking cookies involves food and baking skills. Knitting a sweater includes yarn and crafting expertise. Every gift takes something special. But the most special gift of all is love. You give because you care about the person.

That caring raises a huge question. What about you? The person doing the giving. Who’s taking care of you? Are you getting what you want? Are you getting what you need?

Giving is a wonderful act of human kindness. It warms the soul and is truly an act of love. But if you spend all your energy on giving to others, you’ll be worn out, frazzled, frustrated, and depleted. 

We often concentrate so much on giving we fail to receive.  When was the last time you treated yourself to a movie? Went out for dinner? Got a hug? Had someone tell you how beautiful or handsome you are? 

Lavish gifts are not required. Even a simple “I love you” will suffice. As long as you graciously and willingly receive. If you’re the type of person who feels embarrassed when someone does something nice, get over it. It’s time to receive. Receiving is absolutely necessary for good health. 

This month our FAITH authors explore the topic of receiving and how to open yourself up to having more. 

In the meantime, start practicing receiving. Savor the wonderful feeling that comes when you give to yourself or when someone else gives to you. Take it all in. With practice you’ll become a pro. Not only will you get used to receiving, you’ll enjoy it. Imagine that!

​Nanette Littlestone, author, editor, writing coach, and publisher, is a frequent blogger and visionary leader behind F.A.I.T.H. – Finding Answers in the Heart, Volumes I and II. To find out more about these books, click here. 

The more you are grateful for what you have, the more you can live fully in the present.  - Dana Arcuri

Five years ago on this day, November 11, I started to learn the real power and presence of gratitude. It began when I found myself in a storm of personal drama, all of which I wanted no part of and was definitely NOT grateful for. My husband was several states away dealing with his ailing parents. My 15-year-old son was recovering from a painful procedure that involved reshaping (or breaking) his ribcage. When he asked me what normal ribs were supposed to feel like, I discovered a large mass at the top of my left breast. Cancer was confirmed the next day. My father in law died 4 days later. My mother in law was diagnosed with advanced dementia, requiring my husband’s care and attention as he dealt with his grief and relocated her to assisted living, managed his father’s funeral, and took over managing their estate. He was not there for me. How could he be? My widowed mother was one state away and barely able to manage her own health and affairs. I turned to a few close friends for support and to my new doctors and nurses for advice. I did what they said, stepping onto what felt like a treadmill for the treatment of breast cancer.  Scared. Overwhelmed. Alone. I scheduled a radical double mastectomy and reconstruction with the first plastic surgeon I consulted for the Monday after Thanksgiving. On Black Friday, I received a call that my mother had broken her hip and would probably lose her other leg to a circulatory disease. She would no longer be able to walk and live on her own. She needed my help. Numb and feeling completely out of control, I could not take anymore. I so desperately wanted someone to rescue me. Someone who had my and my family's best interest in mind, who could see the whole picture and just tell me what to do. I did not want to delay my treatment another day but realized that I had to. I had to be that person I was looking for, not only for me but for the rest of my family, especially my 3 children. I asked myself “What is the worst that could happen?” I could die. No doubt. Was I ready to die? What would that mean? 

I realized that if my time was really up, I wanted no or few regrets. The only way that seemed possible was to live from my heart, with grace, acceptance, and gratitude for Everything because everything was significant. Everything had something to teach us, even or especially the unwanted. I shifted and saw Life unveiled. Beautiful and precious. Richly textured and delicately interconnected. The moments I had left in the experience of my life were finite and mattered so I chose to take each moment as it came, with appreciation and confidence to make the best choices I could in that moment, one moment, one breath, one conscious step at a time.
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Like many people, I did not fully appreciate all that was right with my life until I was forced to face the real and inevitable truth of losing it and the ones I love. Funny how the threat of losing something that is by definition transient was what it took for me to see all that is really right and wonderful and precious. I am so grateful to have learned this while there is still time to live it. My prayer is that we all come to know the power and presence of gratitude in a personal way so that we can all live it while we still have time.

​Corinna Murray, DVM, CPC is a veterinarian, iPEC Certified Professional Coach, and founder of EnHABiT and Veterinary Care Navigation. She is a guest blogger and coauthor of F.A.I.T.H. – Finding Answers in the Heart, Volume II. To order your copy of this inspirational book, click here.

by Rebecca Kirson

There are many truths about the wondrous world we live in.  Among them is the fact that we are not alone on this magical carpet ride.  Even when we feel like an island, we are most certainly not. Relationships color every aspect and period of our lives from our childhood to adolescence, middle age, and beyond.  We are encouraged to “build a deep bench” to partner up and to forge long lasting bonds with the special people we have chosen to let into the intimate details of our lives. 

In my experience, I’ve found relationships to be the most difficult area to navigate and the most rewarding.  Learning how to energetically dance with another is just that . . . a dance. We open ourselves up to being vulnerable, to learning how to read others and respond to them. We navigate the sea of emotions that comes from taking another person’s perspective of who we are, how we are doing, and their vantage point of how it should be into consideration. (A truth of human behavior: everyone seems to have an opinion on what everyone else is doing!) Regardless of our view, relationships bring us the best opportunity for learning and growth. Below are some ways to reap the rewards of healthy relationships without wanting to run for the hills because you haven’t quite learned how to do the dance.

Boundaries

There is no better place to learn about boundaries than by being with other people. Where each person falls on the spectrum (having boundaries, not having them, and never having heard of them) is as varied as a Crayola box of 64.

Boundaries exist for a reason but there is nothing like being around someone who doesn’t understand that concept to underscore them even more. That’s the beauty of being with others, learning more about “where I begin” and “I end” compared to “where you begin” and “you end.” In our current third dimensional experience, which is as far away from oneness as we can possibly be, individuation becomes even more highlighted. Our ability to learn, as we draw the invisible lines of boundary, promotes the very discovery of our truth and authenticity in ways that would have been difficult on our own.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

One of the greatest effects of having relationships is that we often get a mirror reflection of who we are being. Most of us have blind spots--insidious little corners we can’t see around in the journey to know ourselves. By being in relationship with others, we are often able to see traits that they have that we possess as well. On first glance we may not see aspects of them in ourselves, but with a little digging and open mindedness the similarities become apparent. Our universe is set up with organizing principles. One of these is that like attracts like.  Often the people we choose to be around are mirror reflections of who we are being. This is a great way to connect in more deeply with the blind spots we have about ourselves given that we can step out of denial and truly be present to our relationships with open and honest eyes.

Contrast

If similarity is a benefit of relationships, then the reverse must also be true. We can also use contrast to learn more about the truth of who we are, who we are not, who we want to be, and all spaces in between.  As a person who likes to keep things clean and neat, there is nothing like me spending time with someone on the opposite side of the spectrum (clutter and disarray) to reinforce that yes, indeed, what feels best to me is organization, beauty, and order. Contrast allows me to immerse myself deeper into my truth while validating someone else’s truth without judgment (even though you and I both know order is really the way to go . . . just kidding). Variety is what keeps life interesting and contrast is what allows each of us to know what works best for us individually. 

Conclusion

Relationships are a necessity of life.  They provide so much potential for the advancement of learning about ourselves and others in ways that few other things can.  Relationships can be exhilarating, uplifting, or frustrating and difficult but they are always “profound teachers of our human experience.”

In our never ending quest for happiness, it is apparent that relationships will be one of the necessities for achieving it.  As Christopher McCandless wrote in his final days from the riveting movie Into the Wild, “Happiness is only real when shared.”

By Nanette Littlestone

To love yourself right now just the way you are, is to give yourself heaven. - Alan Cohen

How much do you love yourself? Just a little? A lot? Do you love yourself only when you feel good or even when you feel bad? What if you could love yourself, really love yourself, all the time?

The term “self-love” means the love of oneself, the instinct or desire to promote one’s own well-being. True self-love is not narcissistic or self-indulgent. It is an awareness of your inner power. A knowledge of who you really are. Without self-love, the soul can’t flourish. According to Marianne Williamson, our deepest fear is not the darkness that most frightens us, but the light. Are you hiding your light? Does your soul long to shine? 

Self-love acknowledges who you are and what you like. By cultivating your gifts, you show your true passions to the world. Your light illuminates the way for others and allows them to shine as well. My love of words led me to reading, then writing, then editing, and eventually to a marriage of all three—being a writing coach and publisher and helping others to express themselves through writing.

So how do you start loving yourself? Here are five ways to begin the journey.

1) Address self-sabotage. Does the little voice in your head say you’re not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough, or you don’t have enough experience? Those negative thoughts and beliefs stem from past experience. Let them go. You can heal these thoughts through hypnotherapy, coaching, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique, otherwise known as tapping), the Sedona Method, etc. Find a process that resonates with you and stick with it. By changing your beliefs, you allow the real you to emerge.

2) Use affirmations. Affirmations are positive statements that help pave the way for the subconscious mind. By using affirmations, you train your mind to develop new ways of thinking. If you want to lose weight, try, “I am at the perfect weight for my body.” To attract more clients, you could state, “I easily attract the perfect clients for my business.” Here are some self-love affirmations to get you started.

I love myself just the way I am.
I appreciate who I am right now.
I let go of my fears and go forward with confidence.

3) Appreciate yourself. Look in the mirror. Do you like what you see? When was the last time you told yourself you’re beautiful? Maybe you’re not crazy about your wrinkles or your gray hair. Maybe you wish you were taller or shorter. Start with what you do like and really love that part of you. The more you do this, the more you’ll be able to appreciate those parts you didn’t like before. And when you truly love yourself, others will too.

4) Be creative. What do you love to do? Write? Paint? Teach? Play in nature? Give yourself permission to follow that voice inside your head that says “can I, can I?” Play. Explore. Discover. Embracing your passions is a sure way to love yourself. You might even find a new career.  

5) Practice forgiveness. Criticizing yourself or comparing yourself to others only hurts you. Sometimes it’s hard to remember you’re not perfect. But holding on to that resentment damages your health. Forgiveness is a way to heal and move forward with peace and love. The Hawaiians have a beautiful forgiveness prayer called Ho’oponopono. 

I’m sorry
Please forgive me
I love you
Thank you

Saying these words, with feeling, can unlock those hurts and restore your self-love.

The more you love yourself, the more you step into your power. So today, be your own valentine. Let your light shine. Be the amazing person you can be.

Nanette Littlestone, editor, writing coach, publisher, and owner of Words of Passion, is a guest blogger and co-author of F.A.I.T.H. – Finding Answers in the Heart, Volume II. To pre-order your copy of this inspirational book, click here.