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Authentic Leadership

9/30/2015

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by Linda Goodman

My Life:  Everyone has a life that is different from the ‘I’ of daily consciousness, a life that is trying to live through the ‘I’ who is its vessel. This is what the poet knows and what every wisdom tradition teaches: there is a great gulf between the way my ego wants to identify me, with its protective masks and self-serving fictions, and my true self.  It takes time and hard experience to sense the difference between the two—to sense that running beneath the surface of the experience I call my life, there is a deeper and truer life waiting to be acknowledged. ‒ Parker Palmer

Perhaps we’ve worked through countless fears, worries, insecurities, and guilt to find a resonating core that is authentically us.  Deeply ingrained principles are a part of every decision we make.  We may be so courageous in making critical decisions that we have come to recognize courage as our true nature.   We may have found intimacy that is real and authentic in sharing vulnerabilities.  Let’s not forget that our core values may be refined over time due to learning experiences and maturity.

Enjoying employment consistent with the core belief systems and the need for a specific service in society is an ideal.  How we handle the growing pains of learning a new corporate culture as well as a new leadership role takes all our tools and less rigidity without forfeiting the clear sense of self.  Being honest and courageous will accompany a leader forward in learning a new style of management without conflicting with one’s true nature, but there is always a need for discernment.  Even the most authentic person on the planet cannot resist change in this fast-paced, multi-cultural, social media world with a workforce of varying emotional intelligence and backgrounds.

Continue to study leadership behaviors, learn to be agile, and utilize mentors who have had experience to share for specific situations.  Learning when to stay silent in order to achieve the best outcome may be foreign but necessary.

Maintain a support group of peers and other business and social friends away from the workplace, even if there’s a time crunch.  They will assist in reviewing negative feedback and offer suggestions.  

Allow your story to be on the resume, a background upon which to build.  Break out of the comfort mold. Being authentic doesn’t mean transparent.  As a leader you can’t tell others of your concerns and insecurities without causing the workforce to lose confidence.  A leader may utilize new authoritative techniques to change the working climate and implement these appropriately through delegation and communication without changing core values.  Lead with empathy and warmth, while keeping the right balance of maintaining one’s true nature and quiet wisdom

And always be aware of preserving self.  Dr. Phil describes being inauthentic as trying to hold a beach ball underwater.  If that becomes the sensation, or if there’s a feeling of burnout or a misalignment with one’s core values, be true to self and make a change that fits with the authentic self and not the ego.

Seeking Authenticity:
• Am I loving myself as much as others?
• Do I belong and have a connection?
• Do I recognize that no one is insignificant?
• Have changes occurred by chance, due to a crisis or by my conscious decisions?
• Do I have the will to keep my life in the trajectory of my choice?
• What are my core values (the rigid ones and the ones that could use some flexibility)?
• Has part of my persona been molded according to the need to please?
• When I look at people I admire, what are the qualities that are important to me?
• Can I drop blaming and using excuses and remember (and pursue) my dreams?


Linda Goodman, a Mediator, Reiki Master, and Consultant/Coach, is a guest blogger and coauthor of F.A.I.T.H. – Finding Answers in the Heart, Volume II. To order your copy of this inspirational book, click here.
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Are You Being Authentic in Your Grief?

9/17/2015

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by Barbara J Hopkinson

How does the word “authentic” relate to grief?

The same as it does in any relationship, including the one you have with yourself.  

Are you being honest about how you feel after the loss of a loved one? Are you taking good enough care of yourself?  Are you listening to others’ opinions over your own intuition on what’s best for you?  Are you open to new things that might help you heal?  

Are you choosing to heal?  

I’ve lost three children, a 30-year marriage, and the sight in my right eye.  Each time, I had to choose to heal . . . and move on.  Once the process was so bad, I attempted suicide. Not successful, thankfully, but it made me realize that I had a choice to make!  I chose to stay alive and do the work to heal, one day at a time, for myself and for my remaining son.  It was so worth it. My life is happy again and I look forward to each new day and to my future.

Through my nonprofit organizations, I support hundreds of families to find a new normal after the loss of a child or other acute grief.  Sometimes, family members seem to want to stay in the pain, to focus on the loss.  They feel guilty if they start to feel better. Is that what their departed children or loved ones want? Is that what remaining family and friends want?  I don’t think so.  You help those who surround you when you help yourself.  And when we choose to heal, we honor our departed loved ones.

Healing is not easy.  It is not quick.  Recognize that each of our grief journeys is unique.  Give others the space and freedom they deserve to heal in their own way.  Try various approaches, new things.  See what works for you. 

Advice from others may be well-meaning, but don’t let it override what your gut is telling you that you need.  Be open to forgive, including yourself.  Most of us are doing the best we can at the time.

Try to focus on the love you shared and the positive memories. It lightens your energy, allows you to attract better things into your life, and makes it easier for your loved ones to connect with you.  Being well is what they want for us.  They are still with us in spirit.  Sometimes you can feel them if you get enough quiet time and focus on the love between you.  Try it!  Be well.


Barbara J Hopkinson, President and Executive Director of A Butterfly’s Journey, is a guest blogger and coauthor of F.A.I.T.H. – Finding Answers in the Heart, Volume II. To order your copy of this inspirational book, click here.
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Authentically Me

9/8/2015

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by Terry Crump

"If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be." - Maya Angelou

We develop palates to savor fine wines and distinguish nuanced flavors in foods, taking pride in our ability to appreciate things of quality.  As consumers of art, designer clothing/accessories, or gemstones we insist that there be some stamp or certificate of authenticity because we are drawn to accumulate unique possessions. Even when beachcombing for shells we assemble only a diverse and unusual array. For us, there’s no denying that originality and authenticity bear high value.

Somehow, when we start to apply the same expectation of authenticity to ourselves, the rules change. Anxiety and worry dominate. The shoulds, oughts, and musts emerge, as does the script of what we can do, of how we can be.  “I can’t do that . . . I don’t want to stand out . . . I’m staying under the radar . . . they’ll think I’m nuts!” Sound familiar? We allow our need for external validation to be paramount to avoid exposing who we really are for fear of rejection, assuming that acceptance dictates that we look and behave like everybody else. Normalcy. The harshest criticisms come from our own minds, rehearsing perfected punitive messages that we have honed over time. While being original, unique, and even flawed may sound moderately appealing in the abstract, we fail to embrace or actualize these concepts in our everyday lives.  One of the life truths that I continue to work through is that it is impossible to portray authenticity without self-acceptance.

Several years ago while on a Caribbean vacation celebrating a big birthday, I was looking for entertainment in my hotel but things were a bit slow that night.  Disappointed but determined to have some fun, my travel mate and I decided to make the evening festive.  Before I knew it, we had managed to invigorate the two-person reggae band and perform with them, started a conga line insisting that other guests in the lobby join in, and assembled a sizable crowd.  The libations were flowing; everyone was having a phenomenal time.  As the evening drew to an end, fellow guests were asking what our plans were on the following day.  We had forged a connection! At various points during the evening, I could hear the typical script in my head that I am an introvert, not one who readily makes friends with strangers, and certainly not one who dances in the middle of a hotel lobby.  I managed to ignore that inner voice.  Guess what, it was one of my more memorable birthday vacations. That effervescent woman who loves life, enjoys music and dancing, and laughs heartily is me, but she has too often been suppressed by ideas about how she appears to others. While I’d like to say that this experience has forever changed my approach to living, I can’t. But I can state that I repeatedly call upon this memory when the “what will people say” script begins to run. Thoughts of this time help with decision making about the version of myself that will “show up” for any given event, making it easier to just be me.  

Here’s why the real you should show up: Authenticity allows for connection to others, fosters self-fulfillment, and engenders joy.  With greater maturity, I’ve invariably realized my preference for wearing a certificate of authenticity proudly rather than looking in the mirror and failing to recognize the woman that’s staring back. It’s so much simpler . . . and lots more fun.


Terry Crump, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist, board certified clinical hypnotherapist, and owner of Crump Wellness Services, is a guest blogger and coauthor of F.A.I.T.H. - Finding Answers in the Heart, Volume II. To order your copy of the book, click here.
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Authenticity

9/3/2015

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We’ve become wed (or welded) to our computers and electronic devices and beset with the need to interact on social media. If you’re not on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and 20 other sites I know nothing about, you’re living in the dark ages. So you blog and tweet and post pictures of your family, and everything’s great. Right?

Not so much. Every day it gets harder and harder to stand out in the crowd. What makes you different? Why should people care? If you don’t have an email list of 5,000 or 10,000 followers on Twitter, who will see you?  

One way to make people notice is to be authentic. Don’t copy everyone else. Be you. The real you. If you hate chocolate, say so. If you’re surrounded by dog lovers and you prefer cats, say so. If you’re unhappy with your circumstances and want change, say so. The more authentic you are, the easier it will be for people to know and understand you.

Being authentic does come with a warning. When you stand out people may not agree with you. They may dislike you. They may even oppose you. I’m not advocating fighting, belligerence, or even bad manners. You can be polite, and firm, and still be you. Your authentic self. And when you’re really “you” the people around you who disagree will fade away and the people who want more of you will be attracted.

This month the authors of FAITH, Volume II discuss authenticity and how it affects you and the people around you. Come join us. It’s a wonderful, magical, uplifting process. Try it. I dare you. 


Nanette Littlestone, author, editor, writing coach, and publisher, is a frequent blogger and visionary leader behind F.A.I.T.H. – Finding Answers in the Heart, Volumes I and II. To find out more about these books, click here. 

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I'm Not Who YOU Think I Am

7/29/2015

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by Maureen Roe

Words, art, music, voice, dance, hair styles, and fashion are just some of the many ways we express ourselves.  But are you fully expressed?  

Oh, to be a child again and not experience the pressures of society or the concern for what people think of us—things we’ve learned that cause us to judge ourselves and others.

As a fully expressed adult you would reemerge as someone who doesn’t worry about what others think because you fully accept all of yourself and live in peace. You express your true feelings to others in a kind way so that nothing goes unsaid in the relationship and you show your true and authentic self to those you encounter.

One of the hardest parts to this formula, which we see played out in many ways in society, is letting others define your life, like parents who assert undue influence for their children to go into a certain field, or just the pressure from society as to what is acceptable for a job or career. For example, say you are an extremely intuitive individual, but you were always made to feel uncomfortable or ashamed of your abilities, so you become a CPA. You may be good with numbers and you may be fairly successful, but you don’t feel fulfilled because society has defined your true nature as something not acceptable.

Going against the grain is appealing to some with a rebellious attitude, but for those who suffer in silence it can be agony. Usually these suppressed needs surface in the form of addictions such as drugs, alcohol, food, shopping, sex, and more. None of these result in satisfaction no matter how it plays out.  

At a certain age we may just become tired of worrying what others think of us and we may start pursuing our passions but some never do because they don’t know how to get past what other people think. Fortunately, there are many people to help you overcome these issues and it is easier than you think.

Here are some things you can do now to be more fully self-expressed:
• Become an observer of your own life. Know who you are so you can expand your focus of who you know yourself to be. Pursue passions or try new things that appeal to you for some unknown reason.
• Speak your truth in the moment. You may have fear of speaking up in the moment, but notice what feeling you have when you don’t and practice communication 101. State how you feel when the other person says or does whatever made you uncomfortable.
• Be willing to live your truth by recognizing what or who isn’t working in your life and be willing to make adjustments so that you can be more at peace in your life.


Maureen Roe is a Self-Expression Coach, Registered Corporate Coach, Metaphysical Minister, Ageless Grace Educator, speaker, and co-author of F.A.I.T.H. – Finding Answers in the Heart, Volume II. To order your copy of this inspirational book, click here.
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To Be Me

7/8/2015

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by Corinna Murray

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. —Ralph Waldo Emerson



Authentic self-expression of ourselves is an integral part of living a balanced and meaningful life because that is how we contribute our unique qualities and gifts to the world. At times we may be reluctant to express ourselves openly because we feel vulnerable, exposed, or even misunderstood. Yet when we hold back and play safe and small, we sabotage our potential and restrict our ability to contribute and connect. When we align with our authentic flow of self, expressing our truth, we access a way of being that goes beyond the superficial display of our personality. We connect to a way of being that communicates our essential truth through our essence in voice, behavior, and even through our quiet presence.

Self-awareness is essential to authentic self-expression, just as it is to spiritual growth. When we gain awareness about the way we approach life and look at the world, we can only then notice that we choose our experiences. If our perspective is one of fear, frustration, or anger, then our self-expression will also be filtered through those same negative emotions, recreating old emotional patterns and behaviors. If our perspective is one of love, acceptance, and gratitude, we open to our natural state of positive self-expression and we begin to transform our reality. When we communicate from our core selves with our pure voice, it becomes simple, gentle, accepting, and appreciative. In this flow of emotional awareness and expression, we are able to share our true selves with the world through our intentions, thoughts, speech, and actions. When we are truly conscious of our purest self, life flows naturally, sweetly, and effortlessly. We don’t need to struggle to feel understood. It is simply enough to be present and aware.

When you make a commitment to be who you really are and make choices that allow you to express yourself like no one else can, you connect to that place within where your inner truth resides. You open to allow your truth and creativity to radiate your unique essence and contribution to life. By creating clear intentions that come from your inner truth, with awareness and choice, you dissolve your potential for self-sabotage. This is the prelude to sweet success. Trust the intelligence of nature to manage the details. 

Today, set an intention for clear communication from your heart. Allow it to manifest in the ordinary experience of the day as it unfolds. No one else can be who you are. No one else can fulfill your role in life. The simple truth that you were created requires you to come forward to be and express your true self. When you do, you encourage everyone else to shine from their true selves as well. Today, simply remember that you are an essential life force, here to shine your light into the world in your own irreplaceable way.


Corinna Murray, DVM, CPC is a veterinarian, iPEC Certified Professional Coach, and founder of EnHABiT and Veterinary Care Navigation. She is a guest blogger and coauthor of F.A.I.T.H. – Finding Answers in the Heart, Volume II. To order your copy of this inspirational book, click here.

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Self-Expression

6/29/2015

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by Nanette Littlestone

Welcome to summer! July has always been one of my favorite months because of summer, the 4th of July festivities, and my birthday. I love celebrating with family and friends, eating outside, enjoying the warm nights. A wonderful scene made only more perfect if I lived by the ocean.

This month F.A.I.T.H. explores self-expression. Who are you being? Not “who are you” but “who do you say you are?” There’s a difference. 

When I was a kid I was very shy. Extremely shy. I didn’t know how to start a conversation or keep a conversation going. If you spoke to me I would answer but I didn’t know how to question or show interest in someone. And my third grade teacher told my mother to tell me that something I said hurt another kid’s feelings. So I clammed up even more.

That was the outside me. The inside me was an explorer and round-the-world traveler who yearned for adventure in distant lands. I was confident and bold, spoke numerous languages, and could hold my own with anyone. Needless to say, no one saw the inside me. 

Life is full of challenges and obstacles. All of us have faced rejection in jobs, relationships, sports, and other areas. Those rejections can depress you or make you stronger. You choose how you react. I could have stayed small and withdrawn, but my soul cried out for the real me to stand up. And after more than 50 years of hiding my opinion, I began to claim my power and my ability to speak out.

So who are you expressing? The limited you or the powerful you? Corinna Murray starts our exploration next week.


Nanette Littlestone, author, editor, writing coach, and publisher, is a frequent blogger and visionary leader behind F.A.I.T.H. - Finding Answers in the Heart, Volumes I and II. To find out more about these books, click here.
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Empowering Women

1/8/2015

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Empowering women is the essence behind the inspirational book F.A.I.T.H. – Finding Answers in the Heart. The first volume of F.A.I.T.H., published in June 2014, has been a resounding success in the United States, Europe, and Canada. The insights the 14 authors received left the readers clamoring for more. But it wasn’t only the readers who were inspired. More women wanted to share their experiences, to be part of the collaborative effort. And thus Volume II came to life, a second collection about love, surrender, forgiveness, and death.

Rather than waiting to reveal the book when it’s completed, we’ve decided to share our thoughts along the way and talk about the topics that matter to us, the ones lodged deep in our hearts. The ones that have to do with faith. Because faith is not a conquest. Faith is an inner journey of divine exploration. It’s an understanding between you and Source, an indication of trust that grows with confidence and knowing. And as you grow in confidence and knowing, the more you empower women like yourself.

On this journey you’ll meet the 14 authors of Volume II and learn more about their hopes, their losses, their wounds, and their dreams. What makes them worry; what makes them glow. They’ll show you their way out of darkness in the hopes of inspiring you to choose the light. And each month we’ll discuss a specific topic, starting 2015 with New Beginnings. 

So stay tuned for more. The next post on the theme of New Beginnings is by Rebecca Kirson, Soul Realignment Practitioner and Transformational Coach from Your Sacred Truth. Discover how to create NEW in your life.




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