​Self-care isn’t always about indulging yourself in manicures and late-night movies (although those are really important). Self-care is about doing what’s needed to have the life you want, no matter how difficult it may seem: Speaking up to your best friend or your boss, recycling the clothes you’ll never fit into no matter how many diets you try, asking for professional help so you can resolve your relationship or insomnia or whatever isn’t working. Now, more than ever, is the time for you to take care of you. The stronger and more centered you are, the easier it will be to weather what crops up.
 
Following are ten ways to step up your positive attitude and overall well-being:

1. Say what you mean. Are you afraid to express yourself because you’ll hurt someone’s feelings or your words might be misconstrued? Speaking up is much more than just saying “no.” When you don’t express yourself or stuff your feelings, people don’t have the opportunity to see and know the real you. Being true to yourself not only empowers you, it empowers those around you. So don’t be afraid to speak your truth. When you say what you mean you honor yourself and you give others the chance to know you, the real you, the one they’re longing to know.
2. Take baby steps. Whatever your goal, you don’t have to get there today. Or even tomorrow. Trying to get there too fast can cause stress and frustration and bring up feelings of “I’m not good enough” or “why can’t I be like him/her?” Remember the wise saying, “All good things come to those who wait.” Picture the Buddha and see yourself smiling and patient. Make one new change in your lifestyle and see how that goes. When that’s working well, then add something else. Take baby steps. There’s no hurry.
3. Let go of the past. Isn’t it amazing how hard it is to let go? Those events that transpired eons ago—the raise you didn’t get, the relationship that failed, a family member saying you’ll never amount to anything—can still create feelings of fear, anger, shame, guilt. And all that’s doing is ruining your current life. It’s time to let those puppies go. You don’t have to be stuck with that baggage. Coaching, energy healing, therapy, meditation, inner child work, tapping, there are hundreds of methods to help you access those memories and transform them. And when you rewrite the past, you create a brand new present.
4. Connect with Spirit. It doesn’t matter whether you believe in God or the Divine or simply an energy that binds us all together. Seeing, understanding, believing, or knowing about that connection serves to calm you. You could be exercising or deep breathing or just looking at a flower, something that transports you out of your typical awareness. When you’re in that “zone,” you feel a deep inner peace that can transcend time and space. Those little moments are like nectar to your body, mind, and soul.
5. Appreciate yourself. To paraphrase Elizabeth Barrett Browning, “How do you love yourself? Can you count the ways?” Appreciation goes farther than skin deep. It penetrates to the core of your being and radiates beyond. The more you love yourself, the more lovable you become. We all have our flaws and faults, but this is about finding the things you like. Do you love your eyes, the way you support your friends and family, how you find joy in the little things? Start a list of the things you appreciate, at least one per day, and tell yourself how much you love that quality. Before you know it you’ll be in love with YOU.
6. Reward yourself. Are you searching for acknowledgment? Recognition? A little praise? You don’t have to wait for someone else to give it. Give it to yourself! It’s easy to overlook all the little things you do—cleaning the house, exercising, finishing that painting. But all those things matter and create space for the bigger things—an inviting home, a well-toned body, winning first place at the art show. Acknowledge your successes and reward yourself (the reward begins a pattern of self-acknowledgment). Take a bubble bath with lighted candles and soft music. Indulge in that dark chocolate. Buy yourself a new dress. You deserve it!
7. Get up and move. Exercise may be a dreaded word, but the body is designed to move. Exercise improves your mood, increases endorphins, and decreases stress. So get up and move! You don’t have to join a gym. Even little movements can help. Try stretching or ease into yoga or qigong. Walking outdoors is fantastic. Or dust off your stationary bicycle or elliptical machine. If you’re at work and you only have a minute or two, get up from your desk and take a brisk walk around the office. Movement makes the body happy and a happy body means a happier you.
8. Be grateful. Giving thanks is one of the most important aspects of self-care. If you do nothing else, be grateful for who you are and what you have. As in self-appreciation, find something to be thankful for—your job, your friends, your spouse, your health, your house, the food you eat, the ground under your feet. Nothing is too small. Giving thanks creates a beautiful vibration that increases your prosperity and attracts more to be thankful for. [Try the thirty-day experiment in Thank and Grow Rich by Pam Grout.]
9. Laugh and play. When was the last time you felt like a little kid? Remember playtime? Hopscotch, jump rope, hide and seek, jacks? Games that made you laugh and squeal with pleasure? Your inner child is still with you, wanting to come out and play. Fun lights up your soul and makes you radiate with joy. So dip your toes into a nearby lake, pull out the croquet set, play some badminton or horseshoes or miniature golf. Get your joy on! You might be surprised how wonderful you feel.
10. Follow your dreams. Now that you’ve revitalized your inner child, take a moment and recapture your dreams. What did you want to be when you grew up? Dreams are fueled by your imagination, and your imagination is endless. If you wanted to be a painter, what about a painting class? If you thought about writing, try an online course or join a writer’s group. If you wanted to be an astronaut, visit a space camp. It’s never too late. Creativity and exploration are like candy to your soul. So let your imagination loose and explore. You’ll feel recharged and restored.

 
There’s no guarantee that life won’t throw you more curve-balls. As we all know, it’s a crazy obstacle course. But if you use some or all of the steps here, you will be a happier, healthier, and more prosperous YOU.

[Originally published in the Conscious Life Journal, ​July 2018]

by Angela Rodriguez

A day ago I was graced by an experience that reminded me of the great joy of choice.

I went to a going away party for a co-worker of my boyfriend Damian. I opted to drive myself so Damian could stay later and enjoy himself. 

One of his co-workers, whom I was meeting for the first time, shook my hand with the cupping fashion of over and under, which to me is the best type of handshake as it forms a full circle from the heart chakra, down the arm, through the hand, up the other arm, and back to the heart chakra.

As he moved on to greet more people, I turned to Damian and said, "He's a very special guy. I like his energy." Damian smiled in agreement and said, "You can tell all that from a simple handshake?"

Hours passed and it was time to go. As I said my goodbyes, this same genuine man said, "I don't know if you've been drinking, but I saw the police setting up a DUI checkpoint on Broadway Street. To avoid it all, you should take El Camino home."

It was brisk and dark outside. I kissed Damian farewell, then swiftly continued to my car.  I talked myself into taking El Camino, even though it would add another 10-15 minutes to my commute home.

As I approached El Camino, readying myself to turn right, my eye caught the shadow of someone in the crosswalk. In my mind, this someone was definitely taking to long to cross. I let out a deep sigh, while my inside voice said, oh c'mon, hurry up already!!

The figure grew closer, and I realized it was an elderly woman with a cane and rolling basket full of groceries, who was so dutifully attempting to get across the street with all of her might.

I took another deep breath, and suddenly my breath caught in my throat. My headlights caught the front wheels of her cart and one of the wheels wedged itself in a crack in the street. The woman moved her cart to and fro, but it would not budge and almost tipped over. 

I watched her for a good 30 seconds, conflicted in helping because she appeared to almost get the cart out herself. 

Time slowed down in my internal clock and headlights started to line up in my rear view mirror. I knew I had to help her. I jumped out of my car, approached her gently, then smiled broadly at her as I asked her if she needed any assistance.

She looked at me with delight, smiled back, and said, "Oh, yes, please, it's so hard for me now that there aren't many taxis."

I lifted her cart of groceries up and out of the crack, then placed the cart on the sidewalk. I heard her gasp with surprise at my strength, which made me giggle. The headlights behind my car were now 5 car lengths deep, and the light had turned from red to green, however not a one was honking with impatience. A pleasant surprise. I walked back into the crosswalk to assist the lady to the corner. I took her elbow and guided her safely up the curb. She thanked me profusely and told me she was fine now and lived close by. 

As we quickly said our farewells, a man rolled by on a bicycle. His eyes locked with mine, and he simply said, "God bless you."

I climbed back into my car and finally made that right hand turn onto El Camino, saying to myself, "That was Jesus." The entire incident, from beginning to end, was divine flow. Gratefully I chose to listen, to allow, to serve. In the end, I was blessed with the full circle of love which all started with a handshake that wasn't so simple after all. 

With Gratitude, dear readers, listen to the gentle flow of Spirit and ride on its breath. Happy Holidays!

Angela Rodriguez, Sergeant of Police for the San Francisco Police Department, an Advanced Reiki Practitioner, and Intermediate Channel, is a guest blogger and coauthor of F.A.I.T.H. – Finding Answers in the Heart, Volume II. To order your copy of this inspirational book, click here. 

by Barbara J Hopkinson

Do our spirits really continue?

How do we trust that?

Can we surrender to that belief?
 
When my 21-year-old son Brent died suddenly in a motorcycle accident, it sent me on a multi-year journey to figure out if he was okay and if his spirit really did continue.  At that point, I had gotten away from my Catholic religion and had been working in the international corporate world for years where we were too “busy” to think or talk about such things. 

I didn’t trust any of it, but after that tragedy, I had to find out.

As parents, our #1 job is to protect our children.  I not only needed   hope that my son continued in some form, I needed to confirm his condition, his existence—in any form.  And if I found out there was nothing “after” life here, then at least I’d know.  

I did traditional things like prayer, therapy, and seeking support from family and friends, but I also journaled, learned to meditate, did several kinds of energy healing, went to spiritual development classes, read tons of books, and watched for signs, writing them down.  Two months after Brent’s death, a friend of the family gave me a book written about after-death communications in a very credible way.  Then a couple months later, one of my close friends gave me another book that opened my mid to reincarnation (which I did not then believe in). 

Around that time, I reached out to a medium through a mutual friend, something I had never done before.  I didn’t know what to expect, but was amazed at how “normal” she was and what she knew about my son, mother, and father—things my friend did not know.  I started to hope, to trust . . . but I needed more evidence.  I went to more mediums (referred to me, the best way) and received more and better evidence.

I was also blessed with friends that my son could communicate through to give me messages.  These were people I trusted and did not pay.  After one group meditation, that friend described the flowers Brent gave me for Mother’s Day the year he died, and something I’d put in his casket before closing it, which I told no one about.   She didn’t even know what it was that she was describing, but I knew immediately!  I also saw another friend channel a song from Brent in my living room!  I had a huge emotional reaction and we didn’t know where it came from.  Then she figured it out and he realized she could understand him.  Subsequently, Brent sent her many more messages for me.

One was particularly evident.  I moved into a summer place for a few weeks, where this friend had never been.  I decided to take a walk before unpacking, and on the way back, I got a text from her: “Brent said ‘Be careful going up your front steps, Mom.’”  I smiled, texted “Thanks,” and kept going.  When I got back though, I was amazed!  There was a large crack the length of the front wooden step.  If I’d put my weight on the outside edge, I’d have fallen and hurt myself.  Thank you, Brent!

There are many other signs and examples, and I have started work to chronicle the most credible ones from myself and other families I support in my next book.  I will have these, other books, and many types of resources in my nonprofit’s new web site, coming soon.

These signs bring us hope about our loved ones, and they help us to surrender to the belief that all of our spirits continue and that we can honestly trust that they do!  I hope you can SURRENDER and TRUST.

Barbara J Hopkinson, President and Executive Director of A Butterfly’s Journey nonprofit, is a guest blogger and coauthor of F.A.I.T.H. – Finding Answers in the Heart, Volume II. To order your copy of this inspirational book, click here.

By Ricia L. Maxie, M.A.

Many years ago as a young adult I received a profound message.  In an image that felt as real as sitting here writing these words, I was standing in the center of an impressive round stage, constructed of slatted wood, with hundreds of empty theater chairs all around. I found myself feeling as though a momentous event was about to occur. A ceaseless, bright light shone down on me directly from above, leaving the remaining stage in darkness, silence filling the vacant seats.  I didn’t feel alone but with no understanding as to why.

When my mind tried to concentrate on the imminent outcome a light shone on someone standing at the edge of the circular stage facing toward the center—toward me. As my focus cleared I could see a treasured friend from my teen years whom I had missed terribly.  A smile formed on my lips and my facial muscles relaxed as I looked into the loving eyes of my long-lost companion.  

Just as quickly as it shone on this friend, the light moved to another individual standing on the stage’s perimeter looking toward me. Love again filled my heart as my eyes perceived a young childhood friend peering back at me, smiling, imbuing me with grand memories.  

Over and over the light moved from one to another: friends from the past, the present as an adult, and the future with those whom I was yet to meet.  Each one brought me an immeasurable joy until my eyes landed on a woman with whom I had currently worked and disliked intensely. The feeling of peace and joyfulness was shattered and immediately I asked Guidance, “Why is she here?  I love all the others but I don’t love her!  I don’t even like her!”  Insulted and angry, I couldn’t understand why she dared stand with those whom I shared fond memories.

Something compelled me to look into her eyes which were staring intently at me with a softness I hadn’t expected.  She had been a cruel woman who tricked me into believing she was a friend only to address me later in a callous, heartless, and dispassionate manner. While my mind was trying to decipher what was happening, she placed her hands together, fingers pointed upward, palm touching palm, in a Namaste position (taught to me as a sign that the “God in me sees the God in you”).  She then bowed her head, tilted it upward with a sideways glance, and winked, as if to say, “I’m honored to have served you in this lifetime.  I agreed to be the dreadful person in your life so that you could learn. Thank you for this privilege.”  Flabbergasted, I stared at her, understanding the profundity of these words that formulated in my mind as if she telepathically shared them with one wink of an eye.

Shaking me out of the momentary pause, the light continued to circle the stage’s perimeter, each time shining on a loved one until again it landed on someone else whom I strongly disliked. I didn’t need a wink and Namaste to remind me of how this relationship fulfilled some preordained lesson.

There’s no telling how long this insightful incident took place (a moment, an hour, a day) but its impact has lasted a lifetime.

Relationships are all like this experience.  We learn through love and we learn to love. By no means am I an expert on relationships that hold various forms of love, like, and dislike.  I only know that I continue to learn and understand that forgiveness for the difficult relationships is the key.  I’m thankful that Guidance shared this wisdom with me and I hold this lesson close to my heart, hoping to remember it on a daily basis.

Ricia L. Maxie, An internationally renowned intuitive consultant/mystic, Reiki practitioner, and speaker, is a guest blogger and coauthor of F.A.I.T.H. – Finding Answers in the Heart, Volumes I and II. To order your copy of these inspirational books, click here.

by Judy Keating

One of my absolute favorite musicians is David Wilcox. He creates stories in song that move my heart, heal my hurts, and speak truths to me in ways I find hard to describe.  I consider him to be a poet laureate of our time. His song “A Break in the Cup” talks of the crack in the cup that holds love inside us all. And that no one can fill that cup no matter how hard they try.

I know there have been times when I have loved someone and felt their pain so deeply that I desperately wanted to fill them up with all this love I had to give. To make “it” better. With decades of learning I can now see that the “it” I was trying to fix was my own profound pain mirrored in that other person. And that to be in relationship I have to fill my own cup each and every day with love, acceptance, compassion, and humor at my own fallibility.

The tricky part comes when you do not see that those feelings are your unresolved issues knocking hard on your door. So you do what any self-respecting person would do—you blame, shame, or abandon the other person because they made you feel this way.  So they must be wrong. And it is our job to make sure they know it.

There is just one problem—this has nothing at all to do with them. Being in a relationship takes guts, because your own crud surfaces on a regular basis without warning. And yet we are communal beings who crave belonging in a tribe, and we thrive when we are blessed with those who love us, warts and all. 

Inquiry, when we are feeling triggered, is a balm if it is done gently and with compassion. Noticing you’re triggered is a gift. For in that noticing there is a space of non-reaction to the other in the relationship. In that split second of noticing, you begin to step towards being in relationship rather than banishing yourself to that lonely island called “being right.” When you feel a fight coming on, in any relationship, stop. Ask yourself, “In this moment, would I rather be right or in relationship?” The answer is less important than the inquiry itself. Either way, you are at choice in that moment and you are taking the wheel rather than that triggered part of you driving. 

In communication with others, there is a question that will assist you if you decide you want to build relationship. State what you feel, think, and believe about a situation, your significant other, or your feelings, and then say “Tell me where I am wrong.”  Then comes the really hard part—stay quiet.
People will be struck mute for about 30 seconds until they get used to you being willing  to truly let them clarify and refine their response to you. This means when they respond, you listen. See where that clarification gives you information that you previously did not see. Let what they have said sink in. Rinse and repeat. 

Please notice the above sentence does not say “Tell me THAT I am wrong.”  It allows for you to not have a full grasp of what the other person, thinks, feels, believes, or knows. It invites them in. It says Let me understand exactly what you are saying so we can learn and grow closer in this moment. Try it. See what happens.

Judy Keating is a coauthor of F.A.I.T.H. – Finding Answers in the Heart, Volume II. She is a facilitator, guide, energy coach, and public speaker. She calls her suite of services “Energy Inspiration” and is excited to be facilitating the Alchemical Creation Priestess Process beginning in September. For more information visit http://lisa-michaels.com/cmd.php?Clk=5444769. Discover more about Judy on her website at www.innerlifecoaching.net

by Maureen Roe

The most essential health one should be concerned with is well-being. While your physical well-being is critical, mental well-being seems to govern the entire system. Our mental health is important and there is a direct correlation between our negative thoughts and how we feel in our bodies. If you disagree, think of a day when things don't go well and your thoughts tend to be less than positive. From that point you cannot turn the situation around and by evening you feel tired, run down, maybe even achy and in pain.  

Working on my self-development solidly now for two decades, I have spent little time suffering emotionally or physically.  Because of some structural issues my body is not without its daily pains, but my focus is on me "feeling good." My "feeling good" in my mind directly correlates to the kind of day I am going to have.  
If you have a stressful lifestyle, this is for you. While many jobs today are very high pressure, many people who have been laid off will tell you that the thought of going back into that kind of setting is not an option. This has driven many to focus on entrepreneurial opportunities to try to find more balance. For example, I am willing to make less money and not have the latest iPhone, iPad, or watch in order to have a 2-hour lunch where I can meditate and gain greater perspective for my life and family, my clients and my work. Your quality of life is not written by some advertising guru. It is what you decide is important to you.

If your life balance is on a teeter totter, then re-evaluate your values and decide what you really want your life to be and not what your friends, the movie stars or the TV, tell you is the good life.

To get started:

1) Make and prioritize a list of the things you value in life, what is important to you (family, relationships, peace, religion, education, money, travel, etc.).

2) Consider each item above in terms of how far away you are from the desired state and determine what you'll need to happen to feel the way you wish to feel. Do you need to add, delete, or change something to be happier?

3) Once you consider ways that you can change your situation to move closer to your desired state, then sit back and think about how it will feel when these changes are made. Use your prioritizing to determine which of these items you will change first.

If you have trouble with this exercise and would like to get some help, please feel free to contact me at maureen@maureenroecoaching.com to set up a complimentary appointment time to help guide you through this exercise.

Maureen Roe is a Self-Expression Coach, Registered Corporate Coach, Metaphysical Minister, Ageless Grace Educator, speaker, and co-author of F.A.I.T.H. – Finding Answers in the Heart, Volume II. To order your copy of this inspirational book, click here.

by Judy Keating

I came home with a bad virus from out of the country and the phrase LET IT GO took on a whole new level of make it stop.

Between groans and wishes for a tranquilizer gun, it got me to pondering about letting go. Our incredible human bodies know how to let go. We shed skin, lose hair, our weight fluctuates, we lose consciousness in slumber on a routine basis, if we are blessed. All without us having to “get a grip,” “make a plan,”  or “worry” if the next breath will hit our lungs before we pass out. We don’t have to think about our body letting go of what needs to go. Our being unaware of the entire process is part of what makes it brilliant.

Allegedly, spring is coming. Yes, on March 20, 2015, spring is officially the season. With  snowmaggeden, freezing temperatures, and black ice, it is hard to imagine anything will be warm again. So how do I know this? Because nature is another miracle that, despite man’s interference, runs on a very predictable time table. Her own. I do not believe that the bulbs in the ground are complaining about the weather. We are not so lucky. We are aware of the weather, traffic, rude customer service people, and a myriad of things that bother us. IF WE LET THEM.

There is a vast difference between recognizing that something is occurring and editorializing about it in our heads where our negative emotions get nice and stirred and we do not want to let go. I was complaining loudly to anyone who would listen that I did not feel well. I was chastising my body loudly and clearly for all the pain and suffering, when more than anything it needed kindness, compassion, and time to right itself. 

So in the spirit of spring and the ritual cleaning that most people feel the urge to do, let’s open the windows of our inner sanctum and notice the things we repeat to ourselves: “I hate_____.” “So and so ALWAYS ______.” “They NEVER______.”  These declarative statements that run on autopilot direct our emotional traffic without us driving. Being certain is a dicey proposition, because what if our holding on to the way we KNOW things to be blocks us from a new perspective that would improve our lives beyond measure?

Notice what you say to yourself. REALLY listen to what you say all the time. Does your inner dialogue create possibility, loving relationships, and growth?  If not, know that your being aware, just noticing what was previously uncensored, will make a profound shift in your perspective. If you are observing what you think, you can decide to change your mind. The ultimate in letting go.