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Nourish Yourself: 10 Easy Steps to Self-Care

7/1/2018

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​Self-care isn’t always about indulging yourself in manicures and late-night movies (although those are really important). Self-care is about doing what’s needed to have the life you want, no matter how difficult it may seem: Speaking up to your best friend or your boss, recycling the clothes you’ll never fit into no matter how many diets you try, asking for professional help so you can resolve your relationship or insomnia or whatever isn’t working. Now, more than ever, is the time for you to take care of you. The stronger and more centered you are, the easier it will be to weather what crops up.
 
Following are ten ways to step up your positive attitude and overall well-being:
  1. Say what you mean. Are you afraid to express yourself because you’ll hurt someone’s feelings or your words might be misconstrued? Speaking up is much more than just saying “no.” When you don’t express yourself or stuff your feelings, people don’t have the opportunity to see and know the real you. Being true to yourself not only empowers you, it empowers those around you. So don’t be afraid to speak your truth. When you say what you mean you honor yourself and you give others the chance to know you, the real you, the one they’re longing to know.
  2. Take baby steps. Whatever your goal, you don’t have to get there today. Or even tomorrow. Trying to get there too fast can cause stress and frustration and bring up feelings of “I’m not good enough” or “why can’t I be like him/her?” Remember the wise saying, “All good things come to those who wait.” Picture the Buddha and see yourself smiling and patient. Make one new change in your lifestyle and see how that goes. When that’s working well, then add something else. Take baby steps. There’s no hurry.
  3. Let go of the past. Isn’t it amazing how hard it is to let go? Those events that transpired eons ago—the raise you didn’t get, the relationship that failed, a family member saying you’ll never amount to anything—can still create feelings of fear, anger, shame, guilt. And all that’s doing is ruining your current life. It’s time to let those puppies go. You don’t have to be stuck with that baggage. Coaching, energy healing, therapy, meditation, inner child work, tapping, there are hundreds of methods to help you access those memories and transform them. And when you rewrite the past, you create a brand new present.
  4. Connect with Spirit. It doesn’t matter whether you believe in God or the Divine or simply an energy that binds us all together. Seeing, understanding, believing, or knowing about that connection serves to calm you. You could be exercising or deep breathing or just looking at a flower, something that transports you out of your typical awareness. When you’re in that “zone,” you feel a deep inner peace that can transcend time and space. Those little moments are like nectar to your body, mind, and soul.
  5. Appreciate yourself. To paraphrase Elizabeth Barrett Browning, “How do you love yourself? Can you count the ways?” Appreciation goes farther than skin deep. It penetrates to the core of your being and radiates beyond. The more you love yourself, the more lovable you become. We all have our flaws and faults, but this is about finding the things you like. Do you love your eyes, the way you support your friends and family, how you find joy in the little things? Start a list of the things you appreciate, at least one per day, and tell yourself how much you love that quality. Before you know it you’ll be in love with YOU.
  6. Reward yourself. Are you searching for acknowledgment? Recognition? A little praise? You don’t have to wait for someone else to give it. Give it to yourself! It’s easy to overlook all the little things you do—cleaning the house, exercising, finishing that painting. But all those things matter and create space for the bigger things—an inviting home, a well-toned body, winning first place at the art show. Acknowledge your successes and reward yourself (the reward begins a pattern of self-acknowledgment). Take a bubble bath with lighted candles and soft music. Indulge in that dark chocolate. Buy yourself a new dress. You deserve it!
  7. Get up and move. Exercise may be a dreaded word, but the body is designed to move. Exercise improves your mood, increases endorphins, and decreases stress. So get up and move! You don’t have to join a gym. Even little movements can help. Try stretching or ease into yoga or qigong. Walking outdoors is fantastic. Or dust off your stationary bicycle or elliptical machine. If you’re at work and you only have a minute or two, get up from your desk and take a brisk walk around the office. Movement makes the body happy and a happy body means a happier you.
  8. Be grateful. Giving thanks is one of the most important aspects of self-care. If you do nothing else, be grateful for who you are and what you have. As in self-appreciation, find something to be thankful for—your job, your friends, your spouse, your health, your house, the food you eat, the ground under your feet. Nothing is too small. Giving thanks creates a beautiful vibration that increases your prosperity and attracts more to be thankful for. [Try the thirty-day experiment in Thank and Grow Rich by Pam Grout.]
  9. Laugh and play. When was the last time you felt like a little kid? Remember playtime? Hopscotch, jump rope, hide and seek, jacks? Games that made you laugh and squeal with pleasure? Your inner child is still with you, wanting to come out and play. Fun lights up your soul and makes you radiate with joy. So dip your toes into a nearby lake, pull out the croquet set, play some badminton or horseshoes or miniature golf. Get your joy on! You might be surprised how wonderful you feel.
  10. Follow your dreams. Now that you’ve revitalized your inner child, take a moment and recapture your dreams. What did you want to be when you grew up? Dreams are fueled by your imagination, and your imagination is endless. If you wanted to be a painter, what about a painting class? If you thought about writing, try an online course or join a writer’s group. If you wanted to be an astronaut, visit a space camp. It’s never too late. Creativity and exploration are like candy to your soul. So let your imagination loose and explore. You’ll feel recharged and restored.
 
There’s no guarantee that life won’t throw you more curve-balls. As we all know, it’s a crazy obstacle course. But if you use some or all of the steps here, you will be a happier, healthier, and more prosperous YOU.

[Originally published in the Conscious Life Journal, ​July 2018]

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We Breathe as One

9/1/2017

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In the beginning there was only Love and Love settled upon the Earth and held it in its stillness, until all upon the Earth breathed in and out in unison. Now we’re in the twenty-first century where we race for the cheapest places to shop, the fastest route from point A to point B, and the easiest way to get things done. Technology is no longer the playground of advanced science but the common ground for our current lifestyle of electronics, hybrid cars, fast food, and much more. We are connected via phones and computers but disconnected from each other.
 
We have forgotten the concept of universal energy, proved to a more modern world by Albert Einstein with his famous equation about relativity. But centuries before Einstein there were cultures around the world that understood the energy that permeates every living thing—Japanese (Ki), Chinese (Chi), Sanskrit (Prana), Lakota Sioux (Neyatoneyah), Hebrew (Ruach or Roohah), Tibetan (Lung), and so forth.
 
Not only does the familiar phrase “we are all energy” hold true, but that energy that flows through us, between us, among us, and around us, binds us to every other living thing. At the heart of it all is a oneness, a connectedness not just to other humans, but to plants and trees, birds, animals, insects, the oceans, even the very ground we stand on. When you go outside and sink your feet into the grass in your front yard, you send an energy signal to Mother Earth to feel your vibrations, to open a channel of connectivity, to harmonize with your energy. If, at the moment of connecting, you’re feeling happy or joyful or grateful, you bless the earth with positivity. If you’re feeling angry, anxious, or sad, then you imbue those feelings into the ground.
 
Everything we do, think, and feel becomes part of the fabric of our environment, the people around us, the community we live in, and so on. The butterfly effect, whose name was coined by meteorologist Edward Lorenz, shows how the smallest of actions—the flapping of a butterfly’s wings—can cause major upheaval in another location and time. The first precept of Buddhism states, “I undertake the training to avoid taking the life of beings.” The word being applies to all living things, not just humans. Pesky mosquitoes, rodents that carry diseases, unwanted plants and trees are all part of that edict. We’ve been conditioned to believe that it’s okay to kill or remove or get rid of these beings as part of daily life because everyone else does the same. But as we awaken, as consciousness raises, as the collective becomes more enlightened, perhaps it’s time to change our habits and embrace more loving selves.
 
North Georgian Tom Blue Wolf talks about “all our relations,” the thread of life, of energy that connects all living things. We experience this life in the early morning birdsong, the running of sap through an old growth tree, the rush of clear spring water in a stream near a garden, the majestic wonder of a deer standing in silent salute. These pieces of life ask nothing from us and exist without our doing, yet how much more significant might they be if we looked on them with more consciousness?
           
 
There’s a profound grace that comes with the attentiveness of being more conscious. Through the awareness of the breath, the simple act of noticing the inhale and exhale, we can begin to experience that deeper connection, that quiet that resounds with energy, that relation to all things. Even one moment is beneficial and carries tremendous importance. Imagine everyone, everywhere, doing the same thing, being in that space of awareness.
           
What would happen if we were all to breathe as one?

[Originally published in the Conscious Life Journal​, September 2017]
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The Greatest Gift of All: Self-Love

3/3/2017

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Do you love yourself only when you feel good? What about when you fail a test, don’t get a raise, or can’t fit into your new clothes? What if you could really love yourself all the time?
 
The term “self-love” means the love of oneself, the instinct or desire to promote one’s own well-being. True self-love is not narcissistic or self-indulgent but an awareness of your inner power.  Self-love acknowledges who you are and what you like. Those stirrings inside you (a love of nature, playing with color, writing songs, rescuing animals) are meant to point your way. By cultivating your gifts, you show your true passions to the world. Your light illuminates the way for others and allows them to shine as well.
 
How do you start loving yourself? Here are five ways to begin the journey.
 
1) Address self-sabotage. Does your inner voice say you’re not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough? Those negative thoughts stem from past experience and are lodged in your unconscious. Before you can practice self-love you need to let them go. You can heal these thoughts through techniques like hypnotherapy, coaching, tapping (EFT), and the Sedona Method. By changing your beliefs, you allow the real you to emerge.
 
2) Use affirmations. Affirmations are positive statements that train your subconscious mind to develop new ways of thinking. Here are some self-love affirmations to get you started.
 
I love myself just the way I am.
I appreciate who I am right now.
I let go of my fears and go forward with confidence.
 
3) Appreciate yourself. Really look in the mirror. When was the last time you told yourself how beautiful or handsome you are? Loving what you see is an act of courage, a demand for unconditional acceptance. Last year when I was suffering with horrible hip pain and screaming my anguish, I confronted myself. The lies I’ve perpetrated. The ones that said I’m not beautiful. I’m not worthy. I am less than. I stood there with tears streaming down my face and said, “I love you.” At first I could barely whisper those words. But with each repetition my voice strengthened. As I confirmed the truth about me, the pain lessened until it finally disappeared and I acknowledged who I really am.
 
Start with what you DO like and really love that part of you. The more you do this, the more you’ll incorporate parts of you that you didn’t like before. And when you truly love yourself, others will too.
 
4) Be creative. Do you love to play with color, write, sing, make something with your hands? Give yourself permission to follow that voice that’s saying “can I, can I?” Play. Explore. Discover. Embracing your passions is a sure way to love yourself.
 
5) Practice forgiveness. Criticizing yourself or comparing yourself to others only hurts you. Sometimes it’s hard to remember you’re not perfect. But holding on to that resentment can cripple your body, literally. Forgiveness is a way to heal and move forward with peace and love. Say a forgiveness prayer faithfully—for at least 30 days— and watch those hurts begin to release and dissolve.
 
These are just a few ways to practice self-love and engage in loving thoughts. The more you love yourself, the more you step into your power. Experience the love that is rightfully yours. Let your light shine. Be the amazing person you can be.

[Originally published in the Conscious Life Journal​, March 2017]

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Do You Have What You Want?

1/17/2016

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​There are millions of self-help books written about success and how to achieve it. Jack Canfield wrote The Success Principles. Steven Covey wrote The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. There’s The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, How Successful People Think by John C. Maxwell, and Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, to name a few. And every year more books are written. You’d think we haven’t figured it out.

I’ve read numerous self-help books on both personal and business success and still haven’t achieved the level that makes me feel accomplished. And many others are in the same place. Do you know why? The answer, for me, is that I wasn’t sure what I wanted.
 
People who get what they want have clear, measurable goals. Rather than saying, “I want to be rich,” they say, “I want to make $100K this year.” Rich is a vague concept. $100K is a measurable amount. If you make $99,999 you haven’t reached your goal.

Be clear about your goal.
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​When I think about money, especially in terms of my business, I’m often unclear. I usually can’t make up my mind how much I want—$50K, $75K, $100K, or more. When I get into the larger numbers my conscious mind balks. “That’s too much,” it says, meaning it doesn’t think I can do it. But if I set my goal too low, then there’s a big piece of me that wants more.
 
So the first step in having what you want is to be clear about your goal.
 
This year I started reading The Path to Wealth: Seven Spiritual Steps to Financial Abundance by May McCarthy. The first thing that excited me about this book is that the 7 steps are listed in the Table of Contents. How easy is that? Then in the first chapter she gives you an overview of those steps and how you’re supposed to work with them each day. It couldn’t be simpler. The remainder of the book goes into more detail about each of the steps and offers additional help on reaching your goals. 
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Trust that your good is on its way.
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A huge portion of my spiritual growth right now is about deepening my connection to Spirit (God, Divine, Source) and trusting it to find my highest good. I used to be all about controlling the situation and only relying on myself. I felt I had to save all my money in order to have more, rather than being willing to give to receive. Those beliefs are changing. I began working the 7 steps on January 8 and am now into my second week. Each morning I thank my CSO (Chief Spiritual Officer) for all that I have (right now) and all that I will have (as if I already have it). The exercise is fun, exciting, and ever-changing. I haven’t seen a huge windfall of cash or an avalanche of clients, but I am much more at peace and excited about facing every day. And I know the abundance is there because I’m trusting in Source to deliver.
 
Another part of The Path to Wealth is beginning your day with reading something spiritual. McCarthy recommends the book The Game of Life and How to Play It by Florence Scovill Shin. It’s a small book written in 1925 by a metaphysical teacher and chock full of wonderful examples of using universal law and the correct wording to attract what you want. She gives story after story to illustrate her meaning. One of my favorite examples is about asking for more work. People often ask for more work (e.g., more clients) because they want more money. But they don’t specifically ask for more money. So she gives a simple rhyme to cover both bases:

I have a wonderful business
In a wonderful way
And I give a wonderful service
For wonderful pay.​
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​Easy to say, easy to remember, and the wording is just right!
 
So do you have what you want? This is a brand new year, a year to have fun, to expand, to accelerate your growth, and to achieve those lofty goals. Be clear. Trust in Spirit. And expect miracles!
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Just Breathe to Receive

12/16/2015

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by Judy Keating

We have often been told “it is better to give than receive.” It is truly a wonderful feeling when we are able to give to people we love. Society has deemed the giver a more honorable place to be. 

If you have ever been in a relationship where you are always giving, in most cases you become resentful, even if it is unconsciously. Brené Brown, who is world famous for her work in helping people with shame, vulnerability, and worthiness, shared a personal revelation. Do I as a giver have a judgment about the receiver?  Sit with that. Have you ever felt like the person you were giving to was weak or “needed your help?”  

If so, than in your giving you have possibly devalued that other person and it is no wonder that you feel uncomfortable receiving. In our society being weak or needy is paramount to the plague. This mindset muddies the water of being in a relationship. 

When we are in conscious equal partnership with another, we honor, believe, and expect that the giving and receiving will go both ways. Being open to receive is essential. Imagine that you could only breathe out. Eventually you would pass out due to lack of breath. When we breathe in, we receive; when we breathe out we give back and the plants, trees, etc. benefit. What an incredible system that is, automatically set for giving and receiving because it is a natural cycle. Yes, receiving is indeed as virtuous as giving. Without the cycle being completed and flowing in both directions, the energy becomes stagnant and without life force.

Receiving takes vulnerability. It is the art of being open to what life wants to gift you. Are there things, people, and accomplishments in your life that you desire?  Are you ready to receive? 
Here are 3 ways to increase your ability to receive:

1.    Be grateful for what you have. Not the platitude of gratitude. Put your hand on your heart, think of someone, something, or a place that you love. Then breathe into that love and send thanks and appreciation. This helps anchor the gift that appreciation is a way of receiving on a deeper level what someone has given you.

2.    Do not attach to what you want having to come “your way.” We have all tried to figure out how to get something the way we think it should happen. This blocks receiving from many other avenues. And it can prevent us from seeing other potentials and opportunities.

3.    Read Gay Hendricks' The Big Leap which uncovers upper limit beliefs that prevent us from receiving more love, goodness, money, health, or happiness determined by our Upper Limit internal set point. This is about understanding your unconscious beliefs about receiving and ways to change them.

The most profound way you can improve your ability to receive is to notice what you feel when receiving anything—a compliment, help with a heavy door, an unexpected gift or bonus, or someone saying I want to give you (fill in the blank).  Stop and notice what feelings, sensations, or thoughts pop up. Do you deflect, shrink, or feel uncomfortable? Just notice what happens. Becoming conscious of how you receive will give you valuable information about ways to better your acceptance of being open to receive what you desire most—connection, joy, and gratitude for all you have been given.


​Judy Keating M.A. is a co-author of F.A.I.T.H, Finding Answers in the Heart, Volume II. She is a Master Certified Shift Your Grief ™ Coach, an intuitive healer, Reiki Master, Crystalline Consciousness Technique Advanced Practitioner, sought-after Workshop Facilitator, and Public Speaker. See her website www.innerlifecoaching.net for more information.
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The Joy of Choice

11/25/2015

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by Angela Rodriguez

A day ago I was graced by an experience that reminded me of the great joy of choice.

I went to a going away party for a co-worker of my boyfriend Damian. I opted to drive myself so Damian could stay later and enjoy himself. 

One of his co-workers, whom I was meeting for the first time, shook my hand with the cupping fashion of over and under, which to me is the best type of handshake as it forms a full circle from the heart chakra, down the arm, through the hand, up the other arm, and back to the heart chakra.

As he moved on to greet more people, I turned to Damian and said, "He's a very special guy. I like his energy." Damian smiled in agreement and said, "You can tell all that from a simple handshake?"

Hours passed and it was time to go. As I said my goodbyes, this same genuine man said, "I don't know if you've been drinking, but I saw the police setting up a DUI checkpoint on Broadway Street. To avoid it all, you should take El Camino home."

It was brisk and dark outside. I kissed Damian farewell, then swiftly continued to my car.  I talked myself into taking El Camino, even though it would add another 10-15 minutes to my commute home.

As I approached El Camino, readying myself to turn right, my eye caught the shadow of someone in the crosswalk. In my mind, this someone was definitely taking to long to cross. I let out a deep sigh, while my inside voice said, oh c'mon, hurry up already!!

The figure grew closer, and I realized it was an elderly woman with a cane and rolling basket full of groceries, who was so dutifully attempting to get across the street with all of her might.

I took another deep breath, and suddenly my breath caught in my throat. My headlights caught the front wheels of her cart and one of the wheels wedged itself in a crack in the street. The woman moved her cart to and fro, but it would not budge and almost tipped over. 

I watched her for a good 30 seconds, conflicted in helping because she appeared to almost get the cart out herself. 

Time slowed down in my internal clock and headlights started to line up in my rear view mirror. I knew I had to help her. I jumped out of my car, approached her gently, then smiled broadly at her as I asked her if she needed any assistance.

She looked at me with delight, smiled back, and said, "Oh, yes, please, it's so hard for me now that there aren't many taxis."

I lifted her cart of groceries up and out of the crack, then placed the cart on the sidewalk. I heard her gasp with surprise at my strength, which made me giggle. The headlights behind my car were now 5 car lengths deep, and the light had turned from red to green, however not a one was honking with impatience. A pleasant surprise. I walked back into the crosswalk to assist the lady to the corner. I took her elbow and guided her safely up the curb. She thanked me profusely and told me she was fine now and lived close by. 

As we quickly said our farewells, a man rolled by on a bicycle. His eyes locked with mine, and he simply said, "God bless you."

I climbed back into my car and finally made that right hand turn onto El Camino, saying to myself, "That was Jesus." The entire incident, from beginning to end, was divine flow. Gratefully I chose to listen, to allow, to serve. In the end, I was blessed with the full circle of love which all started with a handshake that wasn't so simple after all. 

With Gratitude, dear readers, listen to the gentle flow of Spirit and ride on its breath. Happy Holidays!


Angela Rodriguez, Sergeant of Police for the San Francisco Police Department, an Advanced Reiki Practitioner, and Intermediate Channel, is a guest blogger and coauthor of F.A.I.T.H. – Finding Answers in the Heart, Volume II. To order your copy of this inspirational book, click here. 
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An Attitude of Gratitude

11/18/2015

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Rebecca Kirson 

I’m an observer . . . I’ve been honing that skill as far back as I can remember. I love to study people, the way they think, the way they process what happens to them in life, and how they choose to create their lives either from an empowered place in alignment with their truth and desires or one of being disgruntled, negative, and stuck in victim mode.  

What fascinates me is the space between these two opposite positions on the spectrum.  

Libraries have been written on both camps and why individuals end up choosing to affiliate themselves with one perspective over another (and yes, it is a choice).  

In my humble opinion, the simple difference between Camp A (empowered, aligned, and happy) and Camp B (disgruntled, negative, and a victim) is . . . ATTITUDE. 

A person on the left side of the spectrum generally displays an attitude of gratitude which generates feelings of happiness, expansion, and light heartedness.  Seriously, let’s look around at our reality. We live in one of the wealthiest countries in the world. We have freedom, choice, access to unlimited resources like technology and communication like no other time in history. We are surrounded by abundance, community, and creature comforts.  We have an unlimited amount of things to be thankful for! 

A person on the right side of the spectrum generally displays just an attitude.  They are continually finding things to complain about, rail against, and blame for their misfortune while spreading their toxicity.  A thought of gratitude couldn’t bubble up in their psyche if it had to because the perspective of being grateful is so far off from how they view the world. It’s impossible to feel thankful for all the wondrous things in your life while also feeling judgmental, critical, and negative.  Two unlike vibrations cannot exist in the same space.   They see what they don’t have and what they don’t like.  They focus on problems and because of their focus, more problems manifest.  

Camp A finds it difficult to relate to Camp B.  Camp B finds it difficult to relate to Camp A.  Two very different lenses from which to view the world.

Working in the personal and spiritual development arena, I have the opportunity to navigate both camps. I can share from experience in my own life and the people I’ve worked with . . . fulfillment and happiness will never be found through negativity and resisting “what is” in life.
  
An Attitude of Gratitude results in us having a life of blessings.

Why?  

Because when we recognize the good all around us and express emotions of gratitude and thanksgiving, more is given to us! 

Life is always demonstrating back to us who we are being. That includes our attitude. 

Beyond our annual celebration of Thanksgiving, let’s take some time to reflect on the perspective we bring each and every day to how we navigate our life.  
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Is yours truly reflective of all that you have to be grateful for?


Rebecca Kirson, Akashic Record Practitioner and Transformational Coach with Your Sacred Truth, is a guest blogger and coauthor of F.A.I.T.H. – Finding Answers in the Heart, Volume II. To order your copy of this inspirational book, click here.
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Presence in Gratitude

11/11/2015

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The more you are grateful for what you have, the more you can live fully in the present.  - Dana Arcuri

Five years ago on this day, November 11, I started to learn the real power and presence of gratitude. It began when I found myself in a storm of personal drama, all of which I wanted no part of and was definitely NOT grateful for. My husband was several states away dealing with his ailing parents. My 15-year-old son was recovering from a painful procedure that involved reshaping (or breaking) his ribcage. When he asked me what normal ribs were supposed to feel like, I discovered a large mass at the top of my left breast. Cancer was confirmed the next day. My father in law died 4 days later. My mother in law was diagnosed with advanced dementia, requiring my husband’s care and attention as he dealt with his grief and relocated her to assisted living, managed his father’s funeral, and took over managing their estate. He was not there for me. How could he be? My widowed mother was one state away and barely able to manage her own health and affairs. I turned to a few close friends for support and to my new doctors and nurses for advice. I did what they said, stepping onto what felt like a treadmill for the treatment of breast cancer.  Scared. Overwhelmed. Alone. I scheduled a radical double mastectomy and reconstruction with the first plastic surgeon I consulted for the Monday after Thanksgiving. On Black Friday, I received a call that my mother had broken her hip and would probably lose her other leg to a circulatory disease. She would no longer be able to walk and live on her own. She needed my help. Numb and feeling completely out of control, I could not take anymore. I so desperately wanted someone to rescue me. Someone who had my and my family's best interest in mind, who could see the whole picture and just tell me what to do. I did not want to delay my treatment another day but realized that I had to. I had to be that person I was looking for, not only for me but for the rest of my family, especially my 3 children. I asked myself “What is the worst that could happen?” I could die. No doubt. Was I ready to die? What would that mean? 

I realized that if my time was really up, I wanted no or few regrets. The only way that seemed possible was to live from my heart, with grace, acceptance, and gratitude for Everything because everything was significant. Everything had something to teach us, even or especially the unwanted. I shifted and saw Life unveiled. Beautiful and precious. Richly textured and delicately interconnected. The moments I had left in the experience of my life were finite and mattered so I chose to take each moment as it came, with appreciation and confidence to make the best choices I could in that moment, one moment, one breath, one conscious step at a time.
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Like many people, I did not fully appreciate all that was right with my life until I was forced to face the real and inevitable truth of losing it and the ones I love. Funny how the threat of losing something that is by definition transient was what it took for me to see all that is really right and wonderful and precious. I am so grateful to have learned this while there is still time to live it. My prayer is that we all come to know the power and presence of gratitude in a personal way so that we can all live it while we still have time.


​Corinna Murray, DVM, CPC is a veterinarian, iPEC Certified Professional Coach, and founder of EnHABiT and Veterinary Care Navigation. She is a guest blogger and coauthor of F.A.I.T.H. – Finding Answers in the Heart, Volume II. To order your copy of this inspirational book, click here.
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Finding Gratitude after Traumatic Loss

11/4/2015

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by Barbara J Hopkinson
  
Why should you be grateful after suffering the traumatic loss of a loved one?  What is there to be grateful for?  You feel awful!
 
It’s difficult to find anything to be grateful for after losing someone close, certainly after the loss of a child, grandchild, sibling, parent, partner, or even a very close friend before their time.  It’s not fair.
 
All true, but finding a way to be grateful will help you heal. Finding a way to keep positive will help you feel better, and being grateful is a great way to do that.  Also, wouldn’t your loved one want you to be grateful for the time you had with them?  To focus on that more than the pain their loss caused you?  Not easy . . . but try.
 
When you think about it, there are so many things in this world to be grateful for!  Just waking up every day, with a roof over our heads, food to eat, friends and family, our health. Many others do not have those things.
 
What are other things in your life now, without your loved one, that you can be grateful for?  What are the things about your loved one that you are grateful to have experienced or shared?  Write them down.  Are you thankful to have spent however long you had with them?  Is that better than never having known them?  Be grateful for that time, however short.
 
I am.  I am grateful for the excitement around that first pregnancy, even though it ended in miscarriage.  I am grateful to have held my stillborn son Robbie in my arms, seeing how much he looked like his older brothers as babies.  I am so grateful for the 21 years I got to spend with my oldest son Brent, before he died suddenly in a motorcycle accident.  I can’t imagine having lived my life without the richness of his personality, and I am grateful that he still contacts me and sends me signs.  I am grateful for my first marriage, which ended after 30 years, that produced my sons and allowed me to grow into who I am.  I am over-the-top grateful for my remaining son Brad, who is newly engaged, and his lovely fiancée.   I am also very grateful for my second husband, his children, and their partners. There are so many things I am grateful for, including family, friends, and experiences, that it outweighs my losses, most of the time anyway.
 
It does take time and effort, but gratitude is so worth it!  Gratitude helps you attract more good things into your life.  I believe that gratitude is the CORE ingredient to a good life.  Remember to be grateful . . .  for everything! 
 
. . . and I am grateful for you reading this!  Thank you!


Barbara J Hopkinson, President and Executive Director of A Butterfly’s Journey, is a guest blogger and coauthor of F.A.I.T.H. – Finding Answers in the Heart, Volume II. To order your copy of this inspirational book, click here.
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To Be Me

7/8/2015

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Picture
by Corinna Murray

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. —Ralph Waldo Emerson



Authentic self-expression of ourselves is an integral part of living a balanced and meaningful life because that is how we contribute our unique qualities and gifts to the world. At times we may be reluctant to express ourselves openly because we feel vulnerable, exposed, or even misunderstood. Yet when we hold back and play safe and small, we sabotage our potential and restrict our ability to contribute and connect. When we align with our authentic flow of self, expressing our truth, we access a way of being that goes beyond the superficial display of our personality. We connect to a way of being that communicates our essential truth through our essence in voice, behavior, and even through our quiet presence.

Self-awareness is essential to authentic self-expression, just as it is to spiritual growth. When we gain awareness about the way we approach life and look at the world, we can only then notice that we choose our experiences. If our perspective is one of fear, frustration, or anger, then our self-expression will also be filtered through those same negative emotions, recreating old emotional patterns and behaviors. If our perspective is one of love, acceptance, and gratitude, we open to our natural state of positive self-expression and we begin to transform our reality. When we communicate from our core selves with our pure voice, it becomes simple, gentle, accepting, and appreciative. In this flow of emotional awareness and expression, we are able to share our true selves with the world through our intentions, thoughts, speech, and actions. When we are truly conscious of our purest self, life flows naturally, sweetly, and effortlessly. We don’t need to struggle to feel understood. It is simply enough to be present and aware.

When you make a commitment to be who you really are and make choices that allow you to express yourself like no one else can, you connect to that place within where your inner truth resides. You open to allow your truth and creativity to radiate your unique essence and contribution to life. By creating clear intentions that come from your inner truth, with awareness and choice, you dissolve your potential for self-sabotage. This is the prelude to sweet success. Trust the intelligence of nature to manage the details. 

Today, set an intention for clear communication from your heart. Allow it to manifest in the ordinary experience of the day as it unfolds. No one else can be who you are. No one else can fulfill your role in life. The simple truth that you were created requires you to come forward to be and express your true self. When you do, you encourage everyone else to shine from their true selves as well. Today, simply remember that you are an essential life force, here to shine your light into the world in your own irreplaceable way.


Corinna Murray, DVM, CPC is a veterinarian, iPEC Certified Professional Coach, and founder of EnHABiT and Veterinary Care Navigation. She is a guest blogger and coauthor of F.A.I.T.H. – Finding Answers in the Heart, Volume II. To order your copy of this inspirational book, click here.

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