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Finding Gratitude after Traumatic Loss

11/4/2015

2 Comments

 
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by Barbara J Hopkinson
  
Why should you be grateful after suffering the traumatic loss of a loved one?  What is there to be grateful for?  You feel awful!
 
It’s difficult to find anything to be grateful for after losing someone close, certainly after the loss of a child, grandchild, sibling, parent, partner, or even a very close friend before their time.  It’s not fair.
 
All true, but finding a way to be grateful will help you heal. Finding a way to keep positive will help you feel better, and being grateful is a great way to do that.  Also, wouldn’t your loved one want you to be grateful for the time you had with them?  To focus on that more than the pain their loss caused you?  Not easy . . . but try.
 
When you think about it, there are so many things in this world to be grateful for!  Just waking up every day, with a roof over our heads, food to eat, friends and family, our health. Many others do not have those things.
 
What are other things in your life now, without your loved one, that you can be grateful for?  What are the things about your loved one that you are grateful to have experienced or shared?  Write them down.  Are you thankful to have spent however long you had with them?  Is that better than never having known them?  Be grateful for that time, however short.
 
I am.  I am grateful for the excitement around that first pregnancy, even though it ended in miscarriage.  I am grateful to have held my stillborn son Robbie in my arms, seeing how much he looked like his older brothers as babies.  I am so grateful for the 21 years I got to spend with my oldest son Brent, before he died suddenly in a motorcycle accident.  I can’t imagine having lived my life without the richness of his personality, and I am grateful that he still contacts me and sends me signs.  I am grateful for my first marriage, which ended after 30 years, that produced my sons and allowed me to grow into who I am.  I am over-the-top grateful for my remaining son Brad, who is newly engaged, and his lovely fiancée.   I am also very grateful for my second husband, his children, and their partners. There are so many things I am grateful for, including family, friends, and experiences, that it outweighs my losses, most of the time anyway.
 
It does take time and effort, but gratitude is so worth it!  Gratitude helps you attract more good things into your life.  I believe that gratitude is the CORE ingredient to a good life.  Remember to be grateful . . .  for everything! 
 
. . . and I am grateful for you reading this!  Thank you!


Barbara J Hopkinson, President and Executive Director of A Butterfly’s Journey, is a guest blogger and coauthor of F.A.I.T.H. – Finding Answers in the Heart, Volume II. To order your copy of this inspirational book, click here.
2 Comments
Angela
11/4/2015 09:48:45 am

Barbara,
I am grateful for you!
Congratulations on the new engagement ! Bask in the joy and excitement surrounding it. Much love, Angela

Reply
Barbara Hopkinson link
11/4/2015 01:38:15 pm

Thank you Angela! I'm excited & grateful for my son's engagement, his lovely fiancee & her family. We are like extended family, it's great!
Love, Barbara

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