Somewhere inside me is a knowing
Somewhere outside me is a knowing
When these two connect there is a great understanding

Walking is my time to meditate, to relax my mind and body and release some of the stress I carry. Today, as I walked, I reflected on my seeming inability to grow African violets. I’d taken leaf clippings from several plants and planted them in new pots, watered them diligently with a Miracle Gro mixture, and waited impatiently. It’s been almost two months and nothing visible is happening. Are they growing? Why is it taking so long? The questions invited in my friends Worry, Doubt, and Fear. (They’re not very good friends.)

Then I moved on to my new story idea, which is taking a long time to germinate. It doesn’t matter that I have tons of research to do. I want to write now. And, of course, I don’t know what to write, and that not knowing is irritating me. Add more worry, doubt, and fear.

So today I decided to let go of the uncertainty—the fear of uncertainty—around not knowing. I don’t know what I’m having for lunch or dinner. I don’t know who will email me today. I don’t know what I’m going to feel about the stories I’m reading for a contest. And those are okay. They’re little. But the story . . . I have a lot of attachment to that. So I started tapping (EFT) on releasing that fear of uncertainty about something that feels big. And these words came to me:

Somewhere inside me is a knowing
Somewhere outside me is a knowing
When these two connect there is a great understanding

Somewhere inside me is a knowing reminded me to take a deep breath and center in my heart. That is the place of awareness, consciousness, truth. From that place I can be anything, do anything. Somewhere outside me is a knowing reminded me that there is a greater power—God/Spirit/the Divine—that operates from pure love. And even though I may feel impatient, it has impeccable timing and things come to pass for my highest good. When these two connect there is a great understanding reminded me that when I open my heart and feel my truth, I automatically connect with Spirit, and I am in that zone of knowing. And that knowing is available to me at any time. I may be resistant to or uncertain of the outcome, but it’s there, open, just waiting for me.

When you’re feeling the pressures of everyday life, when you’re striving for something and you feel you’re just not making it, connect with your heart and remember your truth:

Somewhere inside me is a knowing
Somewhere outside me is a knowing
When these two connect there is a great understanding


 

For years I prayed for guidance, asking God to send me a sign, preferably large and neon so I wouldn’t miss it. Well, I didn’t get that, but I do get lots of whispers in my head that give me book titles and scenes for my stories, and I get feelings of joy and lightness and bubbles of excitement when I’m about to undertake something wonderful.

How do you tune in? Do you have a feeling in your gut, your chest, your head? Do you hear words or sounds or see color?

These things are your road map for a better life. If you don’t follow the signs, you can end up depressed, frustrated, and deeply unhappy. If you do follow them, you’re on the road to life that’s more fulfilling and happier and exciting.

I’ve been talking about marketing yourself, your business, and your books and I firmly believe that writers need to do that. We have to let people know about what we do. But I’m a terrible follower in this case. I’m much more in the camp of telling, not showing. So I resolved to do something about it and I contacted a marketing coach and had a conversation. She asked about me and my business and what kinds of marketing I’ve used and I gave ridiculously brief answers. It was painful to talk about me. I just wanted her to solve the problem and tell me what to do. Through her patience and questioning she finally got enough information and told me that I needed to find my “why”—what’s driving me to want more customers? What will I do with the increase in money? What happens after I pay the bills and have some money left over. In other words, what do I want?

I couldn’t answer her. I blanked. We ended the call with her telling me about her programs and she suggested I think it over and get back to her in a few days.

The whole conversation felt like moving through sludge. I wasn’t at all excited. I figured she could help me if I was willing to do the work, but was I any more willing now than before?

Shortly after that call I tuned into a webinar about financial freedom from a spiritual perspective, using the elements to help you create and maintain balance in your life. From the beginning, I was captivated with the tone of the speaker and the information that was shared. My being lit up, and that warm, bubbly feeling flowed through me. I was excited! And before the webinar ended I signed up for the program.

What a difference in those two calls.

The sludgy feeling I had in the marketing call was my intuition telling me this wasn’t right. There was nothing wrong with the marketing coach or her program. I know she’s wonderful. Other people have used her and find her amazing. But she’s not for me. And the warm, bubbly feeling of joy and lightness I had with the financial freedom program was a clear sign that it was a fit.
​
We’re meant to have fun, to be filled with joy, to do what we love. Work can be play if it excites you and makes you feel good. So, are you tuning in? What are you feeling or hearing? Your intuition is there for you, pointing the way. Take its advice.

​Self-care isn’t always about indulging yourself in manicures and late-night movies (although those are really important). Self-care is about doing what’s needed to have the life you want, no matter how difficult it may seem: Speaking up to your best friend or your boss, recycling the clothes you’ll never fit into no matter how many diets you try, asking for professional help so you can resolve your relationship or insomnia or whatever isn’t working. Now, more than ever, is the time for you to take care of you. The stronger and more centered you are, the easier it will be to weather what crops up.
 
Following are ten ways to step up your positive attitude and overall well-being:

1. Say what you mean. Are you afraid to express yourself because you’ll hurt someone’s feelings or your words might be misconstrued? Speaking up is much more than just saying “no.” When you don’t express yourself or stuff your feelings, people don’t have the opportunity to see and know the real you. Being true to yourself not only empowers you, it empowers those around you. So don’t be afraid to speak your truth. When you say what you mean you honor yourself and you give others the chance to know you, the real you, the one they’re longing to know.
2. Take baby steps. Whatever your goal, you don’t have to get there today. Or even tomorrow. Trying to get there too fast can cause stress and frustration and bring up feelings of “I’m not good enough” or “why can’t I be like him/her?” Remember the wise saying, “All good things come to those who wait.” Picture the Buddha and see yourself smiling and patient. Make one new change in your lifestyle and see how that goes. When that’s working well, then add something else. Take baby steps. There’s no hurry.
3. Let go of the past. Isn’t it amazing how hard it is to let go? Those events that transpired eons ago—the raise you didn’t get, the relationship that failed, a family member saying you’ll never amount to anything—can still create feelings of fear, anger, shame, guilt. And all that’s doing is ruining your current life. It’s time to let those puppies go. You don’t have to be stuck with that baggage. Coaching, energy healing, therapy, meditation, inner child work, tapping, there are hundreds of methods to help you access those memories and transform them. And when you rewrite the past, you create a brand new present.
4. Connect with Spirit. It doesn’t matter whether you believe in God or the Divine or simply an energy that binds us all together. Seeing, understanding, believing, or knowing about that connection serves to calm you. You could be exercising or deep breathing or just looking at a flower, something that transports you out of your typical awareness. When you’re in that “zone,” you feel a deep inner peace that can transcend time and space. Those little moments are like nectar to your body, mind, and soul.
5. Appreciate yourself. To paraphrase Elizabeth Barrett Browning, “How do you love yourself? Can you count the ways?” Appreciation goes farther than skin deep. It penetrates to the core of your being and radiates beyond. The more you love yourself, the more lovable you become. We all have our flaws and faults, but this is about finding the things you like. Do you love your eyes, the way you support your friends and family, how you find joy in the little things? Start a list of the things you appreciate, at least one per day, and tell yourself how much you love that quality. Before you know it you’ll be in love with YOU.
6. Reward yourself. Are you searching for acknowledgment? Recognition? A little praise? You don’t have to wait for someone else to give it. Give it to yourself! It’s easy to overlook all the little things you do—cleaning the house, exercising, finishing that painting. But all those things matter and create space for the bigger things—an inviting home, a well-toned body, winning first place at the art show. Acknowledge your successes and reward yourself (the reward begins a pattern of self-acknowledgment). Take a bubble bath with lighted candles and soft music. Indulge in that dark chocolate. Buy yourself a new dress. You deserve it!
7. Get up and move. Exercise may be a dreaded word, but the body is designed to move. Exercise improves your mood, increases endorphins, and decreases stress. So get up and move! You don’t have to join a gym. Even little movements can help. Try stretching or ease into yoga or qigong. Walking outdoors is fantastic. Or dust off your stationary bicycle or elliptical machine. If you’re at work and you only have a minute or two, get up from your desk and take a brisk walk around the office. Movement makes the body happy and a happy body means a happier you.
8. Be grateful. Giving thanks is one of the most important aspects of self-care. If you do nothing else, be grateful for who you are and what you have. As in self-appreciation, find something to be thankful for—your job, your friends, your spouse, your health, your house, the food you eat, the ground under your feet. Nothing is too small. Giving thanks creates a beautiful vibration that increases your prosperity and attracts more to be thankful for. [Try the thirty-day experiment in Thank and Grow Rich by Pam Grout.]
9. Laugh and play. When was the last time you felt like a little kid? Remember playtime? Hopscotch, jump rope, hide and seek, jacks? Games that made you laugh and squeal with pleasure? Your inner child is still with you, wanting to come out and play. Fun lights up your soul and makes you radiate with joy. So dip your toes into a nearby lake, pull out the croquet set, play some badminton or horseshoes or miniature golf. Get your joy on! You might be surprised how wonderful you feel.
10. Follow your dreams. Now that you’ve revitalized your inner child, take a moment and recapture your dreams. What did you want to be when you grew up? Dreams are fueled by your imagination, and your imagination is endless. If you wanted to be a painter, what about a painting class? If you thought about writing, try an online course or join a writer’s group. If you wanted to be an astronaut, visit a space camp. It’s never too late. Creativity and exploration are like candy to your soul. So let your imagination loose and explore. You’ll feel recharged and restored.

 
There’s no guarantee that life won’t throw you more curve-balls. As we all know, it’s a crazy obstacle course. But if you use some or all of the steps here, you will be a happier, healthier, and more prosperous YOU.

[Originally published in the Conscious Life Journal, ​July 2018]

You don’t have to be a scientist or researcher to have a breakthrough. Usually associated with work, breakthroughs also occur in art, writing, relationships, even your connection with Spirit. We’ve all experienced them. But if it’s been awhile, this book will get you back on track.
 
The Net and The Butterfly is filled with anecdotes about people who have achieved major breakthroughs in thinking—László Biró and the ballpoint pen, Archimedes and volume, Chuck Yeager and the sound barrier, William Watts and round bullets.
 
There are four types of breakthroughs: eureka, metaphorical, intuitive, and paradigm. Eureka breakthroughs happen fast. Metaphorical breakthroughs appear as metaphors or analogies and require interpretation. Intuitive breakthroughs come with a “knowing” or “gut feeling.”  Paradigm breakthroughs affect all of humanity and change how we see the world.
 
Breakthroughs come when your mind is challenged with something new, you’ve stopped wrestling with the problem and are taking a break, or you’re experiencing (physically, mentally, emotionally) something you’ve never seen, heard, felt, or tasted before. The Net and The Butterfly helps us capture (net) those elusive ideas (butterflies) to break through our conditioned thinking and recreate the process again and again. Once you know the type of breakthrough(s) you resonate with, you’re on the path to having more.
 
To get into the breakthrough habit, the authors give some illuminating exercises:

• Try the Seven Essential Innovation Questions (p. 58) and gain new perspective.
• Use Pattern Recognition (p. 62) to create something new out of something old. James Cameron did this with Avatar.
• Put on a different hat with the Six Thinking Hats (p. 86) and fire up your team.
• Or build a constraint box (p. 97) and turn your negatives to positives.

 
If you’re worried about the fear of failure (not having a breakthrough or coping with the consequences of one), it’s unavoidable. Fear shows up as the impostor syndrome, inner critic, perfectionism, and maximizing. You can’t avoid fear but you can learn to work through it with the exercises in Chapter 7.  And the SuperTools in Chapter 10—higher purpose, altruism, and meditation—will almost guarantee a breakthrough.
 
We all look at health, work, relationships, etc. through our filters of friends, family, education, community. When we’re stuck it often seems there’s no way out. Let The Net and The Butterfly be your guide to new perspectives. You can find a way.
 
Get ready for a breakthrough! 

[Originally published in the Conscious Life Journal, ​May 2018]

Do you fly through life on the wings of openness and adventure? Or have your fears gotten the best of you, restricting your choices and limiting your options? When Estelle Frankel, confessed Olympic Gold Medalist in the art of worrying, asked me to review The Wisdom of Not Knowing, I agreed without hesitation. Over the years my worries have shut me down and closed me off until I’m just a shell of what I was. And that’s not how I want to live.
 
The Wisdom of Not Knowing takes us on a journey into the unknown, that place where fear resides. Fear is a necessary device meant to protect us from harm. But it gets in the way when we become overprotective and too restrictive. When we’re young we tend to be curious, wondering how and why the world operates as it does. We yearn to explore, to investigate, to seek and discover. It doesn’t matter if we have to climb through muck or get wet and cold or examine strange surroundings and people. Mystery is exciting! But as we age, we often become less resilient and more comfort prone. We’re more apt to relish the soft bed at home, the familiar route to work, the favorite meal at the local restaurant than trying something new, because, well, it may not work out. And the more we exercise that caution, the more we stop ourselves from really living.
 
To free ourselves we have to break the bonds of security and certainty and dive into that which we ultimately resist—uncertainty. “Freedom requires an ability to bear uncertainty, to not know what is going to happen next, and to trust in an unfolding journey.” That trust, that being able to plunge into the darkness and not know, is the key to a deeper, more meaningful life. Complete with wonderful allegories and great insight into Judaic studies (including the Torah and Kabbalah), The Wisdom of Not Knowing serves as our teacher and guide.
 
In the end, think of the Cowardly Lion and his famous “c-c-courage”. Taking those small steps. Standing strong in the face of adversity, maybe with aggression, maybe with quiet determination. Facing the unknown IS scary. But with mindfulness and openness and the exercises after each chapter, Frankel gives us numerous ways to confront our fears and embrace our uncertainties with heart and fortitude.

[Originally published in the Conscious Life Journal, ​March 2018]

​            
If you’re anything like me, you’re not an exercise person and you don’t do yoga. But not only is this book easy to read and full of fascinating information, it makes you want to take care of your body.
 
Our bodies are the ones on this journey through life, not our spirits, and when we “allow” our bodies to process on their own time, that alignment between body and spirit can happen, and happen faster. Lauren Walker’s The Energy Medicine Yoga Prescription gives you the perfect tools for embracing that journey.
 
Energy Medicine Yoga (EMYoga) blends the power of energy medicine with the practice of yoga. “It is the energy that needs to heal first. Only then can everything else heal.”
 
Walker explores how to feel energy, how to listen and talk to your body, the power of visualization, and the amazing benefits of Tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique). Then she explains the Five Elements and their relationship to your body. Every person is predominantly one element and knowing your primary element helps you understand how your particular system flows or becomes blocks, how your emotions cycle, how you can release those blocks and emotions more quickly. To determine your element, take the self-inventory test on page 39. Then consult the chart (pages 52-64) for specific ailments and their associated elements and refer to the beautifully illustrated exercises (beginning on page 78) for element-related help for those issues. Throughout the book you’ll find highlighted Rx tips to speed your progress, plus many of the exercises in the book are available online at www.soundstrue.com/emyoga.
 
If nothing else, Walker advises, do the Wake Up daily. You’ll feel charged and invigorated and ready for the new day.
 
“You hold the key to healing inside yourself,” Walker says. “Your beliefs and ideas affect you more than any other single thing on the planet.” Through these exercises and the wonders of Energy Medicine, you can forge a new intimacy with your body, stop the destructive habits you’ve been practicing, and create supportive habits. In other words, EMYoga gives you the tools to create lasting change.
 
Much of life is repetition, a continuing daily routine that perseveres despite our age. But Walker asks us to investigate how we perceive ourselves, how we love ourselves, how we feel. This is what composes a healthy EMYoga diet. Are you strong and resilient? Can you accomplish the things you want? Do you feel vibrantly alive? Those are the keys to a healthy body the EMYoga way.

[Originally published in the Conscious Life Journal,​ January 2018]

​I wanted to hate this book. It’s bold, it’s blunt, and it’s deep, apparently too deep for my puny mind to grasp. Reading the first few chapters felt like slogging through mud.
 
Katie experienced a profound depression for years that left her incapable of caring for herself. And in that abyss she awoke to the beauty of all that is. From that universal nothingness and all-ness, she derived The Work, her program of four questions that move you from your stories into the truth.
 
The Work is brilliant. I’ve used it to tackle some deep-seated beliefs (particularly around family) and have come away with new understanding. But A Mind at Home with Itself is based on the Diamond Sutra, the teachings of Buddha, and those teachings can feel like diving into a world of koans. The Buddha said, “All bodhisattvas who sincerely seek the truth should control their minds by focusing on one thought only: ‘When I attain enlightenment, I will liberate all sentient beings . . . . And yet, in reality there is no self to attain enlightenment and no sentient beings to be liberated.”
 
Really? How do you wrap your mind around that?
 
Keep reading. At some point the mind lets go and the words begin to penetrate, to make sense. You may not understand every sentence or every paragraph or even every chapter. But the more you read the more you feel at home.
 
One could say that if we can simply conquer the perplexities of the mind, we can exist in that blissful state of peace and harmony. But Katie would gently remind us that there is no conquering. “The mind can never be controlled; it can only be questioned, loved, and met with understanding.”
 
I knew the book had made an impact on me when I read a line in a historical novel about a brotherhood known for its charitable works, and I recalled Buddha words and thought, “Yes, but that is nothing compared to one person who is able to embody and live the truth of self-realization.”
 
A Mind at Home with Itself offers questions galore for a path to mindfulness. If you are not a student (one who questions), I urge you to become one. If you are already a student, thank you for your contributions. And if you are a teacher, I humbly bow to the divine within you that reflects the divinity within us all.

[Originally published in the Conscious Life Journal, ​November 2017]

In the beginning there was only Love and Love settled upon the Earth and held it in its stillness, until all upon the Earth breathed in and out in unison. Now we’re in the twenty-first century where we race for the cheapest places to shop, the fastest route from point A to point B, and the easiest way to get things done. Technology is no longer the playground of advanced science but the common ground for our current lifestyle of electronics, hybrid cars, fast food, and much more. We are connected via phones and computers but disconnected from each other.
 
We have forgotten the concept of universal energy, proved to a more modern world by Albert Einstein with his famous equation about relativity. But centuries before Einstein there were cultures around the world that understood the energy that permeates every living thing—Japanese (Ki), Chinese (Chi), Sanskrit (Prana), Lakota Sioux (Neyatoneyah), Hebrew (Ruach or Roohah), Tibetan (Lung), and so forth.
 
Not only does the familiar phrase “we are all energy” hold true, but that energy that flows through us, between us, among us, and around us, binds us to every other living thing. At the heart of it all is a oneness, a connectedness not just to other humans, but to plants and trees, birds, animals, insects, the oceans, even the very ground we stand on. When you go outside and sink your feet into the grass in your front yard, you send an energy signal to Mother Earth to feel your vibrations, to open a channel of connectivity, to harmonize with your energy. If, at the moment of connecting, you’re feeling happy or joyful or grateful, you bless the earth with positivity. If you’re feeling angry, anxious, or sad, then you imbue those feelings into the ground.
 
Everything we do, think, and feel becomes part of the fabric of our environment, the people around us, the community we live in, and so on. The butterfly effect, whose name was coined by meteorologist Edward Lorenz, shows how the smallest of actions—the flapping of a butterfly’s wings—can cause major upheaval in another location and time. The first precept of Buddhism states, “I undertake the training to avoid taking the life of beings.” The word being applies to all living things, not just humans. Pesky mosquitoes, rodents that carry diseases, unwanted plants and trees are all part of that edict. We’ve been conditioned to believe that it’s okay to kill or remove or get rid of these beings as part of daily life because everyone else does the same. But as we awaken, as consciousness raises, as the collective becomes more enlightened, perhaps it’s time to change our habits and embrace more loving selves.
 
North Georgian Tom Blue Wolf talks about “all our relations,” the thread of life, of energy that connects all living things. We experience this life in the early morning birdsong, the running of sap through an old growth tree, the rush of clear spring water in a stream near a garden, the majestic wonder of a deer standing in silent salute. These pieces of life ask nothing from us and exist without our doing, yet how much more significant might they be if we looked on them with more consciousness?
           
 
There’s a profound grace that comes with the attentiveness of being more conscious. Through the awareness of the breath, the simple act of noticing the inhale and exhale, we can begin to experience that deeper connection, that quiet that resounds with energy, that relation to all things. Even one moment is beneficial and carries tremendous importance. Imagine everyone, everywhere, doing the same thing, being in that space of awareness.
           
What would happen if we were all to breathe as one?

[Originally published in the Conscious Life Journal​, September 2017]

Can you relate to any of these?

• I’m always right (having to be in control)
• Life isn’t fair (feeling taken advantage of)
• What about me? (feeling entitled)
• It’s never enough (being misunderstood or left out)

 
When Matt described the above four types of “ego inflammation,” I had to take a deep breath because I resonate with all of them. My way is the best way. Life isn’t fair a lot. Of course I deserve better. And yes, I often feel left out.
 
Sadly, those attitudes are the opposite of love.  But if you’ve been hurt or abused by someone you loved, you don’t trust love. If you’re a nurturer, you give love easily but you don’t receive love well. If you’re an egotist, you’re great at taking love, but you don’t know how to give it back.
 
How do you solve this quandary? The beauty of Matt’s guidance is that you can start anywhere. Whatever comes up is the next thing to be acknowledged. Stop and replay that thought of judgment or criticism or unworthiness. Notice that it’s there because that part of you needs love. And if you don’t know how to love that part that doesn’t trust or doesn’t receive well or doesn’t know how to give back, it’s okay to say, “I don’t know how.” I don’t know how to love the people who hurt me. I don’t know how to love the one who is always in need. By accepting what you don’t know you allow an openness, a space for those painful experiences from the past to clear out.
 
Whatever arises, love that serves to bring you back to your heart, to that place where love resides, even if it’s a little rusty or unfamiliar. That wellspring of love is always there, has always been there, waiting for you to acknowledge it and explore. Because, “when healing occurs . . . you deserve more love, not less.” 

[Originally published in the Conscious Life Journal,​ September 2017]

When you’re on the spiritual path, it’s not always about climbing towards that elusive summit. Sometimes you just need to get through the day. To help me with the daily grind is my well-read copy of Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy by Sarah Ban Breathnach.
 
I was gifted my copy years ago by a dear friend when my spiritual journey was less meaningful. In fact, I didn’t even open the book for about a year. It seemed a well-intentioned but useless gift. So I let it sit and gather dust. Then one day I began to read and simply fell in love.
 
Simple Abundance offers 365 days of hope and promise in simple, practical ways. The author doesn’t claim to be an enlightened guru. She is a mother, housewife, struggling author, and dreamer who has her good days and bad days and found ways to make sense of them all. The book centers around six spiritual principles: gratitude, simplicity, order, harmony, beauty, and joy. Each principle covers two months, time to ease you into the feeling of a new perspective and a way of being/doing.
 
Each day of the year starts with a quote (from authors, poets, philosophers, magazines, and hymns) that summarizes the intention for that day. Then Breathnach explains the issue at hand and how to deal with it. January is the month of new beginnings and cherished memories. You’ll take a look at who you are and what you have, and begin to examine what you see through the lens of gratitude. May explores order—appreciation of the sacred in our daily lives. July embraces harmony, when the daily rigors of life subside with the onset of summer. And so on.
 
One of the ways to achieve balance is by letting nature nurture us. Breathnach recounts how a woman’s Victorian brownstone fronts an alley full of prostitutes, drug dealers, drunks, and the homeless. Frequent attempts to keep the alley clean failed miserably until the woman created a four-foot triangle overflowing with butterfly plants. The garden attracted her neighbors and now the alley is spotless and people have a way to commune with nature. “It’s a gentle but powerful reminder of ‘biophilia’—Spirit’s silent wake-up call that all of life is a sacred continuum.”
 
Every time I read a page of Simple Abundance I am refreshed. My breath releases. My heartbeat slows. My spirit floods with light. Gratitude, simplicity, order, harmony, beauty, and joy—six “simple” principles to guide you. As you journey through life, let Simple Abundance be your constant reminder that there is an easier way.

[Originally published in the Conscious Life Journal, July 2017]