- I’m always right (having to be in control)
- Life isn’t fair (feeling taken advantage of)
- What about me? (feeling entitled)
- It’s never enough (being misunderstood or left out)
When Matt described the above four types of “ego inflammation,” I had to take a deep breath because I resonate with all of them. My way is the best way. Life isn’t fair a lot. Of course I deserve better. And yes, I often feel left out.
Sadly, those attitudes are the opposite of love. But if you’ve been hurt or abused by someone you loved, you don’t trust love. If you’re a nurturer, you give love easily but you don’t receive love well. If you’re an egotist, you’re great at taking love, but you don’t know how to give it back.
How do you solve this quandary? The beauty of Matt’s guidance is that you can start anywhere. Whatever comes up is the next thing to be acknowledged. Stop and replay that thought of judgment or criticism or unworthiness. Notice that it’s there because that part of you needs love. And if you don’t know how to love that part that doesn’t trust or doesn’t receive well or doesn’t know how to give back, it’s okay to say, “I don’t know how.” I don’t know how to love the people who hurt me. I don’t know how to love the one who is always in need. By accepting what you don’t know you allow an openness, a space for those painful experiences from the past to clear out.
Whatever arises, love that serves to bring you back to your heart, to that place where love resides, even if it’s a little rusty or unfamiliar. That wellspring of love is always there, has always been there, waiting for you to acknowledge it and explore. Because, “when healing occurs . . . you deserve more love, not less.”
[Originally published in the Conscious Life Journal, September 2017]