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When Relationships Hurt

8/12/2015

4 Comments

 
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by Suzanne Baker Hogan

Relationships can be extremely challenging. Why? Because they are prime opportunities for growth. Relationships trigger our ancient wounds so that we can finally heal them. They ask us to stop coping with our pain in limiting ways. They push us to grow so much that we finally love ourselves. 

Of course, when we are hurt in a relationship, it can seem impossible to understand why. We can feel so unjustly treated by someone we let deeply into our lives. Emotions fly, issues surface, and we are thrust into the deep end overnight. The task is to feel what we feel instead of burying it. It is to look within ourselves instead of focusing on being wronged, because we are actually being pushed to grow rapidly. And all the souls involved are guiding the process.

Can you recognize a relationship in your own life that hurt you badly? Looking back, can you see the lesson you learned and how invaluable it was? Sure, it can feel unjust to search within when you’ve been so blatantly hurt, but the purpose is always clear down the road. You were being asked to be true to yourself.

Think about a relationship that ended when you didn’t want it to. This may have felt brutal at the time, but this ending freed you for greater things. You may have fought the process, but it allowed you to have new relationships. Years later, can you see that you were being opened up for more? You would have remained stagnant otherwise.

The other day, I was wounded by someone dear to me. This friend and former employee trespassed on my generosity in a very personal way at a very vulnerable time. She showed a blatant disregard for my needs, repeatedly. It happened in my own home and took me completely by surprise. 

But as this wounding was happening, I maintained awareness of the lesson at hand. I could see that my friend’s soul was in on the lesson too, and I was able to put blame aside. I was being challenged to stop accommodating people at my own expense. I was being pushed to say “Enough!” and to set boundaries in the sacred space where I live. All so that I could become stronger and empowered. From then on, I would be firm and clear about taking care of myself.

Sometimes it takes a shocking situation to finally grow. This pushes us more than our humanness might allow. Relationships aid the process immensely. Even those that might seem negative. Because the people who seem unloving in your life actually emphatically love you—at the soul level. In fact, that is how much we love each other. We are willing to play the roles required to help one another grow. We are teaching each other to say “Enough!” so that we finally love and honor ourselves.  


Suzanne Baker Hogan, spiritual writer and author of SharetheSpiritual.com and Twin Flame Help, is a guest blogger and coauthor of F.A.I.T.H. – Finding Answers in the Heart, Volume II. To order your copy of this inspirational book, click here. 
4 Comments
Bsrbara J Hopkinson link
8/12/2015 01:26:07 am

Great acknowledgement Susan, thank you! I was just telling my stepson that I felt this way after he recently got hurt by a girlfriend, and I'm sending him your blog - great insight!

Reply
Rebecca Kirson
8/12/2015 04:12:04 am

Beautiful blog, Suzanne! Your personal sharing really helped solidify the message.

Reply
Terry Crump
8/12/2015 06:27:52 am

Wonderfully insightful and timely message that I need during this season of my life. Thank you!

Reply
Zaria @ Past Life Regression Chicago link
3/30/2017 10:36:53 am

Hello Suzanne,

Thank you for this great article. We like it or not, there is always something that will hurt us in a relationship no matter if we are with our significant other or we parted our ways. This is because no relationship is perfect. There will always be issues that are created in the process or unsolved drama from the past. It is up to us on how we handle such situations. Even if a relationship ends, there is always a lesson to learn.

It was a pleasure connecting with you today! Wishing you all the best!

Zaria

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